Page 26 of Knot Quite Ready

Her eyes darken, “let’s just say, before I left, these types of charms were made to be almost more nefarious and leave it at that. You and your wolf will be safe. I promise you that. Now, I have to get the bar ready; since you and Storm here have been off getting fucked, I've been manning down the fort. Keep Storm updated so we know you’re safe. And come back soon, I'm working too damn hard, and I can't even drink during my shift like normal. Responsibilities suck."

I laugh as she puts the necklace around my neck and walks out after a quick hug.

I fix a smile on my face, but the air around me freezes, solidifying my lungs until I can't breathe, leaving an icy void of emptiness that expands in my chest. I try to convince myself that this is for the best, yet my heart refuses to accept it, slowly shattering into a million cold shards that fall slowly down my body. I immediately feel...empty.

_________

I play with the necklace hanging from my neck as a familiar flash of intense desolation punches my chest-- an unwelcome intrusion to my otherwise relaxed day. It’s been two weeks since I left, and the pressure in my chest grew every day. While my bond was blocked, there are still times when I can feel Casimir's pain from my absence. It was either that or acute heart failure. I'm pretty sure Lynsday did that on purpose. During the most intense moments, it was as if my heart was being wrenched from my chest. To say it was unpleasant wouldn't do it justice. My only consolation was that I missed him too, but none of that, including Agatha's incessant badgering, was enough to make me take the necklace off. Instead, I took that time to journal and purge my thoughts and fears and look at it all objectively. But all that I could come up with was that I made a choice without knowing who Casimir truly was, and I was wracked with guilt.

After Lynsday left, Storm opened up her laptop and booked me a fourteen-day Caribbean cruise that I was currently waiting to board and a couple of weeks’ stay beforehand in Barbados. When I tried to pay for it, she shoved me off and said it was her treat, promising to look after my bookshop and Shifter Wars.

My passport was already in her house as I had her look after it years ago, in case my place was raided. I gathered some of the clothes that I had in her house, including Casimir's shirt. Within the next couple of hours, I was being driven to the airport for an overnight flight that miraculously had a seat. However, I'm pretty sure Storm had canceled someone’s flight and put me in instead—diabolical little woman. Just before I said goodbye, she handed me another passport, this time with my third alias, ‘just in case,’ and I was off.

Anything else I needed I bought once I arrived on the island and my escape...er...vacation began. To say those first two weeks were difficult was putting it mildly. While Agatha yelled and howled, I did my best to block it out.

As of this morning, she was finally talking to me again, begrudgingly. If only to remind me to get some extra food. Our appetite has been downright ravenous. So after I board the ship to make my way to my suite and change into a bathing suit, I head to the dining area to fill up a tray of food before heading back to the lounging deck area to stuff my face.

Already having done all the safety checks, the ship starts to pull away from the dock, and I give a half-hearted sigh of relief as I lay on the recliner, rubbing the ache in my chest. The two weeks at the resort were incredible, but staying stationary was grating on my nerves. Despite my alias being used, Agatha Gertrude Fitzgibbons, I felt like I was on borrowed time until Casimir finally made an appearance. While Storm is a genius, anything can be hacked, and I am sure he would be able to connect all dots if he hacked Storm’s email and found a ticket matching the day I disappeared. Luckily this cruise ship is only traveling to private islands, and no other ships would be docking while we are there. Honestly, it was genius planning in such a short period of time too. It makes me wonder if Storm was some sort of secret agent.

I frown as my sun is blocked suddenly, and a shadow falls over me. “Can I sit here?”

I look up to meet the eyes of a tall blonde adonis. Before answering, I look him up and down, and from here, the view is damn good. Tall, muscular, and despite the sheen of sweat on his body, presumably from the gym as he was dressed in workout gear, he smelled sexy and delicious. Yet...he wasn't my Casimir. So, eh.

I look at the seat beside me and shrug, “Sure, the seat is open.”

“Thank you,” he sits and leans back with a groan, muscles flexing. I feel my wolf get annoyed at the intrusion, and I discreetly whiff the air. Human. My wolf settles back down, not seeing him as a threat to her mate bond or she-wolf. I sigh internally, moody as ever. If it wasn't for this charm, I had a feeling we would have shifted and swam our way to land.

He takes a long swallow from a drink in his hand, “I was hoping you’d say yes. You're the only woman I've seen not leaking pheromones or shining their dentures. So I figured you were relatively safe. I’m Wilder, by the way.” His voice is deep and pleasant, and if Casimir hadn’t taken over my thoughts and body, he would have been just my type for a quick romp, but I had no interest in him. Or any of the other men who hit on me during this getaway. They didn’t do it for me. I internally cursed this bond. I couldn’t escape it, even in a damn ocean in the middle of nowhere.

My face splits into a grin. Despite the gym rat look, I don't think that was his first drink, “Gertrude, and no leaky pheromones here. Just struggling with my heart and its blatant disregard for what my brain wants. Which is for it to return to being cold and dead.” I frown, and he laughs softly.

“I know what you mean. I didn't know I had a heart beyond loving my work. I would cuddle with my client list at night," he shakes his head, running his hand through his hair. "Hearts are treacherous little bitches. You think you're safe. Have everything set up. Have a plan. And in walks a vixen that knocks you off your feet. ” He leans back with an angry sigh, rubbing his temples.

I laugh, “You're not wrong. It looks like we are in good company. Do I have that 'confused about love' look on my face? If so, I need to work on my poker face.”

He shrugs, “Kindred spirit? Either we will drink away our woes or talk some sense into each other. The only other alternative would be to call my brothers and have them say to me 'I told you so'.”

“Hmm, I have one of those. A few, actually. They can be real witches, a tempest of meddling,” I chuckle at my inside joke. I check in with Storm daily, only for her to tell me that she will let Casimir know that I am safe and that he wouldn’t stop trying to convince Calian to give her up my location. Despite my feelings toward the entire bonding bullshit, this trip has served two purposes—forced relaxation and the realization that Casimir wasn’t going anywhere. Not from my life nor my soul. The Fates have 'mate' their decision, and now I have to live with it. Those bitches. The entire mate rejection idea crossed my mind for all of .02 seconds before my wolf made it clear she would take over and shift until I changed my mind. Living in the woods for the foreseeable future is not in my plans.

I sit up, adjust my lounger and turn to face him completely. “So, did you realize what I’ve realized?" I ask, curious.

"That Hercules was probably accurate with the depiction of the Fates, and the only way to win is to seduce them?" He finishes off his drink and frowns at the empty cup.

I laugh, "I refuse to seduce those hades-loving hussies."

"That's fair," he says, leaning back with a dreamy, drunken sigh."No, I’ve realized it's stupid to fight something good just because I don't like change."

I nod, “it gives a whole new meaning to ‘you can run, but you can’t hide.’”

He laughs heartily and stops a server. He grabs two drinks from a tray, passing me one. All-Inclusive was a nice touch to this trip. “A toast to realizing that the heart is a traitorous bitch and accepting our destinies.”

I reach for the offered drink with a smile and bring it to my lips. But as soon as I catch a whiff, I recoil and pull it away as I gag.

Wilder reaches for the cup in my hand with a frown, his eyebrows pinching with concern, “are you okay?”

I give a puzzled shake of my head, "Hmm, I don't know. I never met a drink I couldn't toss back like a champ," I sigh. "If it's not my heart, it's my stomach. It seems like my body's on a mission to rebel." I frown. Alcohol doesn't affect me, but it would have been a nice half-second relief.

He nods, throwing his head back to toss my drink down his throat.“Can’t let good alcohol go to waste,” he jokes and stands up. “Thank you, Gertrude, for your help. Let's meet up for dinner. I feel we must hide from the single people on the prowl.” He walks away with a laugh, and I wave.

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