Page 22 of Knot Quite Ready

My wolf rolls her eyes internally.Children, both of you.

Traitor,I reply.

“Was that the Uber delivery—” Storm takes that moment to appear around the corner, also in a towel, looking wholly unconcerned and freshly fucked. She finally takes notice of my stance, and her mouth pops into an ‘O’.

“What in the ultimate-beastmaster-hulk-out shit is going on here?” Even though she asks a question, I get the feeling she’s hoping it’s rhetorical as her gaze ping-pongs between us.

“Annie, how are you? How was your heat? Was he good in the sack? Sorry, I haven’t been to the shop. Things have been crazy.” She breaks off with a nervous giggle and plays with her hair.

My focus lands on her, and I’m shocked out of my anger. Storm never giggles nervously, ever. Her giggles are confident chuckles of destruction. What type cock-tail is Calian serving in that bedroom?

“No, the Uber delivery hasn’t arrived, but now that you have company, I probably should show my face at Swiftwater, so they don’t forget what their Alpha looks like.” He smiles sweetly at Storm and kisses her on the temple. She leans into his touch, and a dopey grin flits across her face, making her look so much younger and vulnerable.

He pins me with a look and then gives me a broad smile as if he hasn’t threatened to domesticate me, the fucker, before leaving us alone.

“Are you going to tell me about all the sex you’ve been having this week?” Storm gushes as she drags me into the kitchen.

“Er, bitch,” I snark as I open the cupboards and grab two mugs to make us a coffee. “Think you wanna tell me about where the fuck you’ve been and who you’ve been swinging off? Last we spoke, you were a human and didn’t want to be tied down. Now here you and Calian are playing my little -fucking- pony.” I can’t help the snap that rings in my voice.

It’s not her I’m mad at. Fuck, I’m scared if I really want to put an emotion on it.

Scared that Storm will leave me now that she’s found something with Calian worth pursuing—straight out of a romance novel. And what's worse is that she looks completely okay with it all. Her life was rocked, from human to horse, from single to mated, from flipping pages to being flipped like a pancake in the bedroom.

Scared of my life changing, now I’ve met Casimir. He’s not going to let me go easily; I know it. And fuck, if I didn't love that, he would fight for me in all the ways that count. Which was a mindfuck of its own.

And I’m terrified this fragile life I’ve created, which gives me comfort, will get shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

* * *

“So you’re tellingme that you left him in your room, in a post-heat coma, to come and find me?” Storm hoots through the mouthful of popcorn as we lay back on her comfortable sofas with a chick flick on in the background.

“Yeah. I just…” I shrug, not knowing how to vocalize my insecurities without sounding like a whiny asshole. “It’s too much.” I finish lamely.

“Oh, honey.” She pats my leg and leans her head on my shoulder to give me that fortification. She doesn’t need to say anything, knowing my fucking awful backstory, and can see the reason for my mini freak out. “What do you need?”

Well, if that isn't a loaded question. What I need is for this all to go away and for everything to get back to normal. Maybe another Aneira in another life would be happier with having a mate—especially one as attentive as Casimir. But no matter how hard I try, the past rushes up to haunt me. I thought I was over it and beginning to heal, but the feelings building inside me make me realize that I’m just putting a bandaid over the wound.

“I think...I think I may need to get out of Cabria Falls,” I say, tasting the feel of those words on my lips. They tasted like fear, and I hated it. What does fear taste like? Like unseasoned, tangy brussel sprouts.

Storm reels back as if I’ve slapped her and scowls, "Oh, so you've become a runner? You're going to run away from me, and the best thing that has ever happened to you because your old pack is a scourge on this earth? And don't get me started on hunting that grandfather of yours down and bitch slapping him with my hooves the moment I can shift and be mare-nificent."

I wince at the anger in her tone and the guilt that comes with it.

Her features soften, "You know it's true, Aneira. If you need to get away for a bit to help sort yourself out and come back from your confusion, I got your back. But I won't let you run from happiness."

I sigh and let my head fall back on the couch, "I'm not running from you. I'm not even sure if I'm running from Casimir, exactly. I just don't know," I jump onto my feet with a growl and throw my hands in the air.

"It's what he represents. Pack life. Wolf politics. Being a mate to an Alpha and now having to help run a pack. I’m happy running the bookshop and shifter wars. It's..."

"That is bullshit, and you fucking know it," she scowls, jumping to her feet and knocking the popcorn everywhere. Damn, that's a waste of good fucking popcorn.

"You've been content, comfortable even. But now that you found your mate, you have that final piece. So what if he is an Alpha? You wanted to find him the moment you realized he even existed. Why do you think I didn't bother trying to avoid Calian, other than that he's a romance book in the making? Because I can clearly see that a shifter can't avoid their fated mate. Why fight the chance at true love and happiness?"

"Because you're a horny bitch?" I offer lamely.

She laughs,” Please, I can go without dick longer than a freshly blessed Nun, and you know it. I'm not going to cut off my hooves to spite my gallop or whatever the saying is. It's a waste of energy when I could be getting fucked senseless."

I shake my head with a mirthless laugh, "fair point. But I still need to get away for a while. Figure out how to get past this fear. Otherwise, I'll be a shitty mate anyway. He doesn't deserve that," I admit.

---