Page 41 of Dirty Little Secrets
She laughs bending to shrug off her heels. “Jesus, my feet are killing me.”
“At least it’s not your pussy or ass,” I deadpan.
She straightens, her eyes gleam. “Damn. That good, huh?”
There aren’t words to describe how amazing he is in bed. The man fucks like a machine. His words are dirty in a good way but the thing I love about him the most, he makes me feel safe.
Not once does he take me without my consent. The downside, I’m not a real person in his mind. I could be anyone he wants me to be.
He doesn’t know what my face looks like. There is no potential for a love much. No attraction beyond what I let him see and it’s not much. The worst part is that I’m lying to him every day at work. He has no idea who I am and if he ever found out, I’d lose my job or worse, Brent will come for me before Xadien would have time to even call the cops.
Never did I think for a second, I would be paired with him. I should have walked out that first night but I couldn’t. For once, I didn’t want to be forced to be with someone.
“Same guy,” Kristian asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah. I guess the app pairs you up until one or the other declines the invite. After the night is over or I should say, session. There is always a survey.”
She giggles. “No way.”
I nod still trying to process it in my head. “Yeah, it’s like a trucker’s bumper sticker that reads: How’s my Driving.”
“From the looks of it, I’m guessing five stars.”
I wince. “You could say that but after, not so much.”
Her expressing morphs into concern. “Are you okay?”
“It’s a good hurt.” I smile. “It’s been a while.”
Her expression shifts to relief. “Good. I have Epson salt…”
“I found it.” I interrupt.
I had to soak in it for forty-five minutes from the sting. It’s why I’m sitting on the soft couch. I’m praying my ass could sit on my office chair in a few hours. My hope is that Xaiden calls out sick but I doubt it. I wouldn’t be that lucky.
I bet when I walk in, he’ll have me doing everything I don’t want to do.
“Do you have any idea who it is, yet?”
“No idea.” I shrug hoping she doesn’t pick up on the lie.
I thought of a million ways to tell her the truth about it being Xaiden but don’t know if I should. What if she tells me to stop? To call it off. I’ll feel guilty. Then I’ll have to and won’t have the most amazing sex pushing the bad memories of Brent away.
“It’s hot, isn’t it?”
I grin. “Very. It’s like every fantasy you’ve thought about could happen. A safe space between two people with no strings attached. There is no one to judge what you like. Who you like. How you want it. You feel free.”
She leans her elbows on the counter like she’s listening to the best story. “What’s the best part?”
“That it’s safe and no one is going to hurt you. And…”
“And…” she mimics.
“The sex is… amazing,” I say on a laugh.
“I wish you could see who really he is,” she says softly.
“Why do you say that?”
