Page 7 of A**hole Stepbrother

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Chapter 12

James

My palms were sweaty. My forehead was getting sweaty. I was looking at the two police officers and I could tell that they knew something was up. I tried to give them a smile, but it came out all shaky and I wondered how long it was going to take before one of them pulled the handcuffs out for me.

“I’m sorry to hear about your sister,” the tough-looking one said to me with a look of sympathy playing through his eyes.

“Thank you,” I said with a broken voice that I was now sure they were reading as upset over Tilly, and not my guilt over what led to this situation.

“We thought we’d let you know that the fire service has checked out the scene and they’re putting it down to a faulty timer, so there won’t be any further investigations into the incident,” the tough one said with an affirmative nod.

“Right,” I said, because I wasn’t sure what else to say. “I guess that’s good news?” I asked them.

“Well, it’s better than having a person responsible.” The officer shrugged.

“Thanks for coming down,” I said as I nodded at his response.

“Don’t mention it,” the officer said, and then he and his partner walked off into the hospital, leaving me to deal with the news that they had just brought.

I mean, I couldn’t lie, I felt slightly relieved that the fire service had got it wrong. I didn’t know what kind of sentence my crime would have brought, but I was certain that it would have involved time behind bars for the damage I had caused to Tilly’s life. That relief came mixed with a self-loathing ooze that seemed to be sinking into every particle of my body. I had done this to Tilly. I was the reason she was lying in the hospital with scars running down her body. I was the reason she was in pain. I was the reason for all of it, and I would never be held accountable. I would never be able to shift off the feeling of guilt without pulling at the tapestry of my entire life. I’d gone too far and now there wasn’t a way back.

My attention got pulled away from my hate as my cell started to ring in my pocket. As I pulled it out, a nurse scowled at me and pointed at a “no cell phone” sign right above my head. I gave her an apologetic look and walked off of the ward as I answered the call.

“Dude,” Sam said with a relieved voice.

“What?” I snapped at him, because he was the last person I wanted to hear from.

“Dude, what’s happening? I’ve been freaking out over here. Have you spoken to the police? Are we in the clear?”

“Are you seriously asking me all of that without once mentioning Tilly and how she is?” I asked Sam, and for the first time in my life, I hated him. I mean, I really hated him. I couldn’t understand in that moment why we had ever been friends.

“Sorry, how’s Tilly?” Sam said, but his tone was mocking and packed with tease.

“You’re such a dick,” I said before I could restrain myself.

“Whatever, man,” Sam said and he sounded bored. “Have you talked to the police or not?”

“You don’t even care, do you?” I asked him, my tone full of accusation.

“About what?” Sam asked me as though he was genuinely confused.

“About what we did,” I whispered curtly down the phone to him.

“It was a prank that went wrong, man; it happens,” Sam said, as though the fact that Tilly was marked for life was nothing but an unavoidable consequence of his fun.

“You know what, man,” I said, and I could feel my temper starting to pour out of me as I spoke. “I’ve spoken to the police and they’ve said that we’re in the clear, but I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet,” I said.

I could hear a sharp intake of breath through the phone and I smiled as I realized that I’d finally made Sam pay attention to what he’d been a part of. “Not cool, man,” he said and I could almost hear his head shaking in concern.

“Well, what we did wasn’t cool,” I said, and then I pulled my cell away from my ear and hung up, before Sam could try and bullshit his way back into my good books.

I walked back onto the ward quickly and headed straight for Tilly’s room. I desperately wanted to tell her the truth and, for a few minutes, my resolve was to do that absolutely, but then I walked into her room and my eyes found her sleeping face, which looked so peaceful that it almost hurt. I couldn’t tell her, and I knew in that moment that I’d never be able to tell her. If I did, it wouldn’t make anything better. It would just resolve me of my guilt, and I wouldn’t be that selfish.

I had to prove that I was sorry in a different way. I had to prove to her that I was sorry without her ever realizing that was what I was doing. I took the stiff, green seat that I’d been sitting on for hours and retook my place at her side. I had done this to her and I was going to be the person who looked after her until she got better.

I let my eyes drift closed and enjoyed the picture of Tilly’s beautiful face at peace in sleep, until sleep finally came and took me away too. I wasn’t sure when it happened, but the next time I woke up, it was dark and my back was stiff and achy from the chair and the half-laid position I’d found myself in.

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Chapter 13

Tilly

I hadn’t been to school in nearly three months. At first, I’d fretted about falling behind, but James had been going to all my classes and getting notes and homework for me, so I’d been keeping up from my bedroom. That wasn’t the only thing that James had done for me, either. He’d been with me every day since the accident. He left for school and to sleep, but other than that he stayed by my side.

I was a little freaked out about it at first. I couldn’t understand why he was being so nice. I’d tried to find his angle, but there wasn’t one to find. He just seemed to genuinely care, and over the last few months that had passed, we’d gotten pretty close. I mean, nothing had happened between us, but we were friends, I guess. I’d tell him about the books I was reading and he’d tell me about what had happened in school. We kept each other company, and in the process, we had grown to not only know each other, but like each other as well.

It was time to return back to reality, though, and that meant I had to go back to school. I had no idea what our dynamic would be like at school. I was pretty sure that James would go back to ignoring me, and although that made me more upset than it should have, I understood that our newfound friendship couldn’t go on forever.

I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself in the school uniform that was insisted on at the school. I looked okay, but my eyes wouldn’t leave the burn marks that spread up my neck and finished at the edge of my jawline. I’d tried to accept them. I’d tried to accept the fact that my reflection had been permanently changed, but I hadn’t quite gott

en there yet.

I sighed as I realized that everybody’s eyes would be on me when I walked back into the school, and then I turned and walked out of my room before I got myself too bummed out. The house was pretty quiet as I headed downstairs, but I could hear the soft clinking of cutlery against china coming from the dining room. I thought about going over and joining whoever was eating for breakfast, but I couldn’t convince myself that I’d keep it down.

Instead, I walked out of the front doors quietly and started walking towards school. We lived three miles away, and normally I was driven, but I didn’t want that. I wanted to walk slowly. I wanted to give myself a chance to properly process where I was going, and I didn’t want to see James because then I could hold onto the friendship we’d shared for just a little bit longer.

My feet kept walking, but my mind turned to James, as it so often did since the accident. He’d been my knight in shining armor. He’d shown me that he cared in a way I never thought he could, and in return, my heart had started to harbor him within it. I hadn’t yet admitted it even to myself, but I was in love with him. I was in love with him so deeply that even the idea of it hurt.

I reached the school a few hours later, but I wasn’t late. The stairs were filled with students who were all reluctantly wavering between standing out in the cold and actually entering the building that they were supposed to be in. I didn’t suffer from this same confliction, and I walked quickly past the crowds with my eyes fixed to the floor.

I could feel them all looking at me. I could hear the way that conversations stopped dead as I walked by, and then turned into quiet whispers when they were sure that I was out of earshot. I kept my eyes to the floor, though. I ignored their looks and their whispers. I got to the science lab and I took my seat next to where James would be sitting.

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