Page 83 of The Brave and the Reckless

COURTNEYOFBOOKSANDSMUT: Have the book girlies found this yet?

ESRA

“Eat something.” Noah set a lunch box down next to my thighs alongside a glass of iced tea. I was prepared to give him shit for his sliced vegetables again, but the little compartments in the lunch box actually held a whole variety of snacks today. Sure, carrots and cucumber and red radish, but there were also cheese cubes, dino nuggets and a few pieces of my favorite chocolates.

If I hadn’t been already becoming obsessed with this man, the dino nuggets would have tipped the scales.

“Two secs,” I said as I set the PDF to print double-sided.

I sat on the floor of his so-called office at the ranch,surrounded by a new printer, some of the articles I’d printed on equine-assisted therapy, and three actionable lists of next steps divided by renovations, therapy and admin.

On our last few days off, Sinan had come here with Noah to paint, or fix lights and fences, which had totally robbed us of the chance to spend time alone.Qualitytime alone. Noah had his own place, far away from the rest of our roommates, and I was still going purple with sexual frustration. Maybe not sexual frustration. We still got plenty of orgasms in. Intimacy frustration? I wanted to climb into Noah’s lap and rest my forehead on his shoulder and feel his chest against mine without time limits or worrying who might see us.

Zuri had taken Sanny to Nashville today to get some stuff for his birthday party, so we were completely free. We’d come here first thing in the morning, before anyone else was awake and would see us leave together, both of us practically vibrating with pent-up energy on the drive over.

He didn’t even let me get out of the car myself. I’d just opened the passenger door, and he was there and lifted me up without so much as a strained breath. He carried me up to his attic bedroom and didn’t let me come up for air for what felt like hours. Knowing how fast he could get me off if he wanted to, made it so much more excruciatingly delicious when he kept me on edge until I was red-faced and sweaty. He still cradled me afterward like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and he hadn’t just fucked me like he hated me. I drew swirls in the smattering of hair on his chest while he whispered kisses and plans for the ranch against the crown of my head.

Noah wanted to enroll in a therapeutic riding instructor course for proper accreditation, but he’d never taken a course of any kind, so he’d asked me to take a look at the brochure in his office. He had no idea of the monster he’d unleashed on his paperwork. If there was one thing I was good at, it was studying. Dissecting texts, streamlining information, creating study guides for maximum efficiency? That was my jam.

Now I sat half-naked, wearing only his T-shirt, in his office, grateful for the cool floorboards against the hot, sore skin of my backside.

He had some entirely wrong forms in his files, which frustrated me at first because it seemed like a stupid oversight, but I quickly understood once I saw the useless mobile versions of the government websites he’d downloaded them from. And Noah didn’t have a computer. I used a good chunk of my last paycheck to order him a refurbished one, which should make all of this easier. He could even use it for his course. If I’d known ahead of time, I would have brought mine from home. I’d barely touched it since clicking ctrl+a+delete on last semester’s study notes.

“Where did you learn all this?” he asked when I pushed the printer away and reached for a cheese cube.

“I can tell you, but you might see me differently afterward.”

“I see you differently every day I learn more about you. So far, it’s working in your favor.” He settled down next to me, his large hand wrapping around my thigh.

“Gee, thanks.”

“I mean, I haven’t learned anything about you that could make me like you any less.”

“Youlikeme, cowboy?” I teased.

“You’re deflecting.”

“You’re so observant.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him and looked over my neatly sorted piles. “I figured out early on, thanks to many clueless doctors, that having the right knowledge at the right time can be vital. I realized that the best way to learn as much as I could was by learninghowto learn first. The other kids around me were starting to get into simple division, and I was reading textbooks on metacognition, analyzing my own way of absorbing information, and then reading up on different learning styles that I could apply to my specific way of thinking. I figured out that I don’t necessarily need a live teacher, or auditory input, but visualization in text or examples helps.” I held up the printed-out articles.

“Esra, you’re a massive nerd,” Noah chuckled.

I opened my mouth to reply but he stifled my words with a kiss. He pinched my chin to tilt it just right for access, his tongue teasing mine.

I broke out of the kiss. “I’m reformed though. You can’t think of me as nerdy anymore.”

“I’ve known you were secretly nerdy since that drunk trivia game. Still had to whisk you out of there the second I saw someone else’s hat on you. You’remysecret nerd, princess.”

My stomach fluttered at the thought of beinghisanything, but I wasn’t sure if that was nerves or butterflies. I cleared my throat. “Okay, well, it’s going to stay a secret. I’ve started a new chapter in my life.”

“I’m great at keeping secrets these days, don’t worry.”

Our eyes locked. There it was. We were a secret. Thiswas the first time either of us had properly addressed the issue other than that time he told me the walls of the staff housing complex were too thin for us to hook up in the comfort of our bedrooms. There had been a silent understanding thatwewere not a public thing.

Sinan had clearly been on both of our minds. I didn’t see that conversation pan out well.

And beyond that… we weren’t exactly throwing roses at each other’s feet and talking baby names.

What if he wanted that though? Did I?

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