Page 75 of The Brave and the Reckless

We’re dancing under bright city lights

I still remember those small-town, big-dream nights

left that nowhere place, now here I found my spark

I will shine so bright

I will light the dark

ESRA

“This place is beautiful,” I said when I’d finished wandering around Adriana’s house and come back to the kitchen. She didn’t want to play tour guide, but she’d allowed me to explore the bungalow by myself. There wasn’t a single white wall in her home. It was drenched in sunset colors, mossy greens and warm browns. The furniture was all mismatched and covered in throws and fabrics. Instead of bright overhead LEDs, it was lit up by cozy fairy lights and vintage table lamps with colorful glass shades. Suncatchers dangled in every window, reflecting rainbow prisms everywhere, and outside, lush flowerbeds bloomed around the entire house.

“Thanks,” Adriana said. “My mom’s the one with the green thumb.”

“Does she live here, too?” I asked and glanced around for any sign of a parent living here. Not that I knew what to look for. The main trace my parents left behind was spotless minimalism.

“No, over there.” She pointed her spatula at the window, toward a twin bungalow, separated from this one by hedges and trees. It couldn’t be more than a three-minute walk from door to door, but it felt like just enough distance for some privacy. “My record deal wasn’t massive, but it paid for these places, so that’s pretty cool.”

She shrugged as if that wasn’t a big deal, so I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and squeezed.

“Yeah, thatispretty cool, Adriana.”

“Thanks.” She grimaced and rolled her shoulders out of my embrace. “I’m trying to cook here.”

“Do you have a problem with affection?”

“No,” she scoffed, very focused on poking at the risotto in the pan, “I’m hella affectionate.”

“Uh-huh.” I grinned and grabbed one of the wine glasses she’d set out.

Getting to know Adriana was like getting to know Shrek. Or peeling an onion. Layers. Lots of layers. I wasn’t sure if she’d always been this opposed to letting people get close to her or if that was a side-effect of being the town’s black sheep, but she was worth being patient with. She’d been nothing but kind and supportive since the day I got here. Case in point: inviting me to dinner because I was either eating at the saloon or surviving on pasta and cereal.

“And while we’re on the topic, who are you getting all affectionate with, huh?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it affectionate.”

“Down and dirty?” she asked.

“More like it.” I weighed my head from side to side. Being with Noah wasn’t unaffectionate either. Earlier today we had spent our entire seven minutes making out like teenagers. No orgasms at all. Just giggles and kisses. And in the little privacy we managed to carve out, a minute in the kitchen, or a moment when I got out of the bathroom and he got in, we brushed hands, and he told me I was beautiful, and I asked him about his day– and genuinely cared about his answer, too.

In some ways, I was grateful that those affections were short-lived. I wasn’t sure if I could compartmentalize our thing as easily otherwise. We were just hooking up. Colleagues with benefits. The way my stomach fluttered when he looked at me from across the room was just physical attraction. He was hot, and he was good in bed, and he was likable enough. That was all.

It had to be all.

If it wasn’t, then I’d have to start considering Sinan’s plea not to mess up his life here. Or the fact that summer was already in full swing and I’d be leaving soon. Or that I had no idea what I’d be leaving for, or where I’d go.

So … nope.

Compartmentalizing.

Noah and I were just having sexual, sneaky, totally meaningless fun.

“Hello-ho?” Adriana snapped her fingers in front of my face, rings and bracelets jingling. “Earth to Esra.”

“Sorry.” I shook my head to clear it. “What?”

“God, I miss having the kind of sex that scrambles your brain like that.”

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