Page 37 of The Fake Husband Play
“Thank goodness,” I say, popping the top on my beer. “I can’t wait to meet this crew. They sound like a good time.”
“They’re all characters,” Elly agrees with a fond look at Mimi. “Just like their mama.” She lifts her beer into the air. “To our new adventure and being our friend Gee’s new roommates for a while.”
Mimi lifts her root beer to clink her mom’s bottle and then mine before adding, “And to Gee’s pool!” Beneath her breath, she adds, “Can I swim as soon as I get out of school tomorrow? Or do I have to wait until you get home from practice like Mama said?”
“Hey,” Elly cuts in. “I didn’t say that. I said I’d ask him if it was okay, and if not, we would wait until he got home. Don’t start going behind my back to get your way, girl. We’re moving in with Gee, but I’m still the boss, baby girl.”
“Yep, your mama’s the boss,” I say with a nod. “I can’t be trusted with a job that important. I’ve never even had a dog, let alone a kid. I have no idea what I’mdoing.” I glance Elly’s way before adding, “But if your mama is okay with you swimming right after school, I certainly am. I wouldn’t want you to have to wait for me. We have another meeting and?—”
Before I can explain about Torrance and his endless questions, a sharp thud echoes from the hallway, followed by the sound of furniture scraping against the floor.
“That’s the movers, they said they were going to move everything away from the wall to check for—” Elly flinches as she’s cut off by a woman’s scream shrill enough to shatter glass.
“Oh my God! Oh my God!” A blonde woman in a Moving Pros T-shirt practically sprints out of the bedroom, her ponytail whipping back and forth like she’s being chased by a serial killer. “The wall—they’re in the wall! Behind the dresser, there’s a—” She makes a vague, frantic gesture with both hands. “A nest! With bodies. And tails!”
An older man emerges behind her, looking significantly less traumatized but still deeply uncomfortable. “Yeah, sorry to say, you’ve got a pretty substantial rodent infestation back there. Looks like they’ve made themselves at home in the wall. There’s insulation everywhere. As soon as we moved the dresser, it all just…” He makes a spilling out gesture with his fingers that makes the blonde shudder and clutch at her throat.
“Rats,” she hisses. “God, I hate rats.”
“Oh no.” The color drains from Elly’s face so fast that, for a second, I’m worried she might faint. But almost immediately, color floods back into her cheeks, that particular shade of shame-red reserved for when life jerks your pants down around your ankles in public.
“God, I’m so sorry,” she continues, dragging a shaking hand through her hair. “I never— I mean, we had a problem once before, under the sink. The people downstairs leave food out all the time, but I thought I sealed all the holes. And the rats have never been in her room before, I swear. I never would have?—”
“In my room?” Mimi squeaks from the middle of the island, catching on to what’s happening. “There are rats in my room?”
Elly stiffens, but her voice is reassuring as she turns to her daughter, “It looks like there might be a few behind your dresser, baby. But it’s okay, they’re in the wall and?—”
“Behind my dresser?” Mimi’s eyes go round as dinner plates. “By my books? Real rats? Not nutria?”
Elly winces slightly. “I’m afraid so, but don’t worry. I’ll call the super and?—”
“But what if they chew on my books?” Mimi asks, her bottom lip already doing that pre-cry tremble that signals tears are coming in fast. “What if they try to get in my bed tonight?” Her voice climbs with each word as her hands ball into tiny fists. “I don’t want to sleep with rats. I don’t like rats, Mama. They’re not pets, they’re mean.”
“Don’t worry, Meems,” Elly says, soothing voice now in full effect. “I promise, I won’t let them hurt you or your books. And yes, rats do carry diseases, but they’re more scared of us than?—”
“I don’t want rats in my room!” Mimi cuts in, tears filling her eyes. “They have to go now!”
“Agreed,” mutters the female mover. “I have to go, too, Cedric. I’m sorry, but I can’t. Not with rats. Not again.”
Before Cedric can respond, the woman has darted past Elly and is wrenching open the front door.
“Katy, come on,” Cedric calls as her footsteps pound down the hall. “You can take the other side of the room! We’re almost done!” When he realizes Katy isn’t coming back, he sighs. “Poor kid. Third time we’ve run into rats this month. They’re becoming a real problem in the city.” He motions toward the bedroom as he turns to Elly. “Though I have to say, that’s one of the biggest nests I’ve seen in a while, ma’am. I can’t believe the kid didn’t hear them crawling around in the walls. They’re really squirming around in there.”
“Mama, no,” Mimi practically shrieks. “I don’t want them in the walls or my bed or our house.”
Poor Mimi is on her way to a total meltdown, and I can’t say I blame her. I’m not a fan of rats, either, not since the night I woke up in my “bedroom” in our kitchen when I was a kid to find a giant rat staring at me from a few feet away. Mom and I could only afford a one-bedroom, too. Grant was already off playing in the minors, and I slept in a little partition made of a clothing rack and shelves separating my twin bed from the rest of the space. Even a decade later, I can still remember the look on that thing’s face. It was sizing me up like it was considering which of my toes would be the best for snacking on, and didn’t run back under the stove until I’d thrown three pairs of tennis shoes at it.
Mom filled the oven vent with steel wool and rat poison the next morning, but I didn’t sleep easy for weeks.
And that was justonerat, not an entire nest.
Time to intervene before this gets worse.
“Hey, guys, I have an idea,”I say, catching Mimi’s eyes over Elly’s shoulder as she gathers her sobbing baby into her arms. “Hey, Mimi, buddy, don’t cry. You’re moving in with me, remember? And I don’t have rats anywhere in my building, I promise. So, why don’t you guys just move in tonight? Problem solved.”
Elly glances back at me, relief written all over her face.
“Really?” Mimi sniffs, tears slowing as she glances between me and her mama. “Can we do that, Mama? Can we move tonight?”
