“No.”
“You met him twice.”
“Was he a douche?”
“Very much so, as it turned out.”
“Then I’ve probably blocked out the memory of him from sheer frustration.” Kendrick looks from the road to me. “What happened when you told him the truth?”
“At first, he was into the idea of getting me there. For all of three days. But then, he said sex with me had become ‘too much work,’ and ‘not fun, like it used to be.’ And everything unraveled from there.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“The good news is I only dated him for about two months.”
“Seems to be your outer limit.”
“That’s not true.”
“Okay, three months. Name one relationship that’s lasted longer.”
I pause to think. But he’s right. My relationships have always started out strong, but then they fizzle out quickly. “Okay, so I’m not good at long-term relationships. So what? I’m still in my twenties. I’m supposed to be having fun and making tons of mistakes. As I recall, your very first girlfriend is the only one you dated longer than a few months.”
Kendrick exhales and practically spits out the name. “Florence.”
“I despised her.”
“I don’t blame you. She did me dirty after my injury.”
“No, I hated her from day one. Even before she dumped your ass for the crime of getting injured.”
Kendrick looks shocked. “Why?”
“Because it was obvious she only wanted Kendrick the Future NFL Player, rather than my darling Kendrick, and that pissed me off.”
“Wow,” Kendrick says softly. “I wish you’d told me.”
“Would you have listened to me?”
His chest heaves as he looks from the road to me with burning blue eyes. “Ifyou’dbeen the one to tell me? Yeah. Absolutely.”
“Oh. Really?” When he nods, I press my lips together, feeling shocked.
Another silence envelops the interior of Kendrick’s car. For a long moment, I watch his windshield wipers moving back and forth, feeling electrified for reasons I can’t figure out. Am I feeling this way simply because that orgasm in Reed’s laundry room was so damned good? Am I feeling high from getting the “no orgasm without robotic assistance” monkey off my back? Or is there something else going on? Something even bigger than all that?
“Okay, Ruby,” Kendrick says. “Here’s the deal. This fling of ours? It’s going to be all about you. Getting youoff. Making sure you experience everything you’ve been denied before now.”
“Kendrick, no. That’s too much pressure. Let’s just have fun and?—”
“We will. I promise. Trust me, basically being your sex therapist will be the hottest thing imaginable for me.”
“I don’t want to feel pressure, though.”
“You won’t. Please, Ruby. Don’t overthink it. Just accept that’s what we’re going to do, okay? Remember how you felt about helping me with my insomnia? That’s how I feel about this. I want to do everything in my power to show you what your body can do. Let me do this for you. It’s all I want.”
He does look pretty damned excited about this idea. And I can’t deny, I’m excited, too.
“Okay,” I say on an exhale. “But only as long it’s fun for you. And only if you promise not to make me feel pressure to perform. If I can’t get there, I can’t get there. It’s not the end of the world.”