Page 94 of Spark

“So, that would feel forced. Like, TMI, dude. We get it. You like to bang and spank your wife. It’d feel like, you know, a money grab, and people wouldn’t like it.”

“What are you talking about?” Kai says with a roll of his eyes, while Savage pipes in to agree with Kendrick.

“I agree with Kendrick, too,” I say. “As raunchy as ‘Hate Sex High’ is, it’s still a love song. I know it’s mostly about sex, but you can tell Savage is secretly in love with “Laila, Laila,” or else why was he punching walls about her being with another guy?”

“Ruby’s spot-on,” Kendrick says. “A person doesn’t feel jealousy about someone they don’t give a shit about. Savage’s emotional torture is the reason the song works.”

Images of Kendrick’s college girlfriend, Florence, pop into my mind, probably because that’s the only time I’ve ever felt white-hot jealousy in my life. I was so freaking jealous of that girl, I wanted to scratch her eyes out.

“What do you know about jealousy?” Kai says to his brother. “You don’t have a jealous bone in your body.”

He doesn’t?

True, I’ve never seen Kendrick exhibit jealousy in relation to one of his tour flings or girlfriends. But I’ve certainly seen him exhibit the emotion in relation to a few of my douchebag boyfriends. Actually, I feel like he acted a bit jealous toward Finn, too, and Finn was a sweetheart. Or maybe I’m confusing jealousy with simple protectiveness.

Savage shakes his head. “Yeah, I think it’s a non-starter.”

“I agree with them, for what it’s worth,” Titus says to Kai.

Kai looks at me. “Okay, so how about we write a response song to Cooper, then?”

“Nope,” I reply without hesitation.

“Come on, Ruby,” Kai says. “We could call it, ‘I Wasn’t Gonna Call You, Anyway, Ya Dipshit.’”

We all laugh at that, even me.

“Sorry, no. I don’t want to dignify Cooper’s pettiness with a song, especially one I’m going to have to play at shows for the rest of my life. I’m already sick to death of thinking about that motherfucker.”

“Yeah, fuck Cooper,” Kendrick says. “He’s a clout chaser. Let’s not help his career any more than we already have.” He looks at me, his blue eyes blazing, and I must say, for a guy who supposedly doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body, Kendrick looks pretty dang jealous to me.

Kai flaps his lips together. “Okay, well, are we officially out of ideas for today?”

“It kinda feels like we are,” Kendrick says.

“Yeah, I’m tapped out, guys,” Savage agrees.

“Let’s not give up just yet,” I say. “Maybe if we?—”

“It’s four to one, Ruby Duby,” Savage says with a yawn. “The sesh is now officially over. But don’t worry, maybe something we bounced around today will lead to aspark, later on.” He looks at Kendrick like he’s said something clever or funny. But if he’s making a joke, I don’t get it.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” I say. “Something we did today will definitely spark another idea. We just don’t know it yet.”

“Definitely.” With a wink at Kendrick, Savage claps his palms to his thighs. “Got any weed, brother? Or should I go to the dispensary?”

“Yeah, I’ve got some,” Kendrick says. “I don’t have any beer, though.”

Kai pops up. “I’ll go get some.”

“I’ll order the pizzas,” Titus offers, pulling out his phone. “The usual?”

Everyone confirms Titus should order the same pizzas, as always.

“What about margaritas?” Kai asks. “Should I get some mix, when I get the beer?”

Hard-liquor cocktails are the only component of our traditional, post-writing-session party that’s variable. Everything else remains the same: weed, pizza, cheap beer.

“I think that’d be too big a reward, since we didn’t come up with anything,” I say. “But, hey, maybe that’s a reason to drown our sorrows.”

---