Page 86 of Spark

We both chuckle.

“But for now, for this time, you’ll still be you and I’ll still be me. I just mean, maybe you can take it extra slow and gentle,or however you’d do it if knew I’d never had sex before and you wanted to make it feel extra special.”

His breathing is shallow. “That sounds good. I can do that, yeah.”

I rub my forehead nervously. “I don’t even know what this would entail, honestly, compared to what you were already planning to do, but?—”

“Ruby, yes. I love the idea. It’s a huge turn-on for me.”

I meet his gaze. “Really?”

“Really.” He smiles wickedly. “Are we our actual teenage selves, only on an alternate timeline? Or are we our present selves, but all prior sexual experiences have been wiped from our memories?”

I can’t help giggling. “I’m thinking we’re teenagers.”

“Okay.”

“But notkids. We’re, like, nineteen going on twenty.”

Kendrick bites back a smile. “I lost my virginity at nineteen, so that’ll be easy for me to role-play.”

“I did, too. Nineteen.”

We stare at each other for a moment, the mention of our past lovers thudding like lead balloons onto the floor between us.

“Be honest with me,” I say, “if this idea doesn’t work for you.”

“It does. Like I said, it’s a turn-on. A big one.” He shifts his weight. “It feels right to do it this way for our first time.”

“It does, right? After this, we can swing from the chandeliers.”

“Or not. Whatever works for you, when the time comes, is what will work for me. No performances required or desired, okay, Ruby? We’ll take it one honest minute at a time.”

“Okay,” I squeak out. “Fair warning. I’m pretty sure, after this, I’ll go right back to being the horny wildebeest who begged you to fuck her in Reed’s laundry room.”

Kendrick bursts out laughing. “You can be whatever and whoever you want to be, sweetheart. Whatever feels good to you and turns you on, whatever fantasies you have, tell me, and that’s what we’ll do. I want to do it all with you.”

My breath comes out in a slow, stuttering stream. “Thank you.”

He cocks his head. “Wait, so am I a teenage virgin, too, or just you?”

I pause to consider. “I think that would be good. But since this is a fantasy, you’re a teenage virgin who somehow magically knows exactly what to do to me, just like you did in the laundry room.”

Kendrick chuckles. “Okay, I’m a horn dog who’s watched every how-to video he can find online.”

“And your natural instincts are amazing, too.” I laugh with him. “You’re still you, remember? So you’re a musician on this timeline, too. It makes sense you’d be good at feeling . . . a groove.”

Kendrick winks. “You know what they say: drummers make the best lovers.”

“Who says that?”

“Maybe it’s only me.”

It’s not, actually. Kendrick’s lucky tour fling, Tracy, said basically that same thing to her friends, once, while I was standing close enough to overhear everything. In fact, that woman didn’t stop making comments, right and left, about how “amazing” and “fun” and “masterful” Kendrick was in bed. And always within earshot of me. One of those times, I vividly remember her saying, “But that’s drummers for you. They know better than anyone how to keep a steady beat and lay down a dirty groove.” The comment haunted me for months. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure that comment was directly responsible for the sex dream that ended my relationship with Cooper.

“Okay, so . . .” With an exhale, Kendrick grabs my hand and kisses the top of it. “Listen, if you’re not sure you’re ready to do this with me, Ruby?—”

“I am. Kendrick, wanting to do a role-play doesn’t mean I’m not?—”

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