Page 11 of Spark

“Are you signing onto this life philosophy as well?” Ruby asks. “Or did you only drink to that forme?”

“I drank to it for both of us. I’m the only one of the two of us who’s been single this whole tour, remember? I’ve been living the ‘amazing or nothing’ life for a while now.”

“Yeah, and it’s killing you slowly.”

I scoff. “Not at all.”

“This is the first time you haven’t fallen into something hot and heavy with a tour girlfriend, and it’s also the firsttour you’ve experienced persistent, chronic insomnia. Do the math, babe.”

I roll my eyes. “One has nothing to do with the other. And I’ve never had a tour girlfriend.I’m clear up front, it’s always a tourfling.”

“How gallant of you.”

“And this isn’t the first time I haven’t gotten together with anyone on the road. I was a rockstar cliché during our first tour as openers, remember?”

“Sweetheart, it’s burned into my brain like witnessing roadkill too close.”

I laugh. “You’re one to talk. You’ve had some meaningless fun here and there over the years, too. We all have.”

“Yeah, but I’ve always been more discreet about it than any of you. Is it more nature or nurture for men to enter dick-swinging contests, do you think?”

“Little bit of both, I’m sure.”

She sips her drink and pauses like she’s gearing up to say something.

“What?” I ask.

She purses her lips. “Do you think that quarterback doing so well is the main reason for your insomnia? It started right around the time he started making national news.”

She’s talking about the star quarterback from the college I dropped out of after my knee injury—a guy who’s been tearing it up so much this season, everyone’s saying he’s a front-runner to win the Heisman. What she hasn’t clocked, however, is that Cooper joined the tour about two months ago, too—and he immediately started annoying the fuck out of me to the point where I can’t stop thinking about him and how much I can’t stand him whenever I try to fall asleep. But since I don’t feel like I should admit that to Ruby, I reply, “Yeah, that’s probably it.”

“It’s either that or no tour girlfriend. Sorry, fling. Thoseare the only two things that are different this tour. I don’t believe in coincidences, sweetheart.”

“Maybe.”

“When you were banging Tracy during the last one, did you sleep like a baby every night?”

I cringe. “Why bring Tracy up?”

“Why not?”

“It’s my birthday. You know it didn’t end well, and I feel bad about that.”

“Sorry.”

During our last tour, I fell into a tour relationship, as one does, with our tour manager at the time, Tracy. And I swear, I made my intentions with her clear out of the gate. I’m not ready to settle down. Not looking for anything serious. I’m going to be really busy when we get home to LA. Blah, blah, blah. She said that was perfect because she wasn’t looking for a relationship, either.

But then, I’ll be damned, on the last night of the tour, Tracy told me she’d fallen deeply, madly in love with me. And when I told her I didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want to continue the relationship, she didn’t take it well. In fact, she said some things that made me realize I’d kind of been a dick without meaning to be. I couldn’t help the way I felt, but I kind of knew she was falling for me and I looked the other way.

“You were dating Finn when I got with Tracy, and he wasn’t exactly someone to write home about.”

Ruby pulls a face. “What does Finn have to do with anything?”

“I’m just saying.”

“Saying what?”

“That people sometimes get with people they later regret.”

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