Page 83 of Mountain Daddy

But I'm too tired. Too satisfied. Too content in his arms.

His breathing evens out. Becomes deep and steady.

He's asleep.

I lie there for what feels like hours. Listening to his heartbeat. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest.

This is dangerous. This feeling. This want to stay here forever.

Carefully, slowly, I slide out of his arms. He murmurs something in his sleep but doesn't wake.

I gather my destroyed clothes. What's left of them anyway.

His shirt hangs on a chair by the window. I slip it on. It falls to mid-thigh. Smells like him.

One last look at his sleeping form. So peaceful. So beautiful it makes my chest ache.

Then I slip out into the main room. Find my purse. My keys. I slip out the front door.

The drive home passes in a blur. My body still humming with satisfaction. My heart breaking with every mile. By the time I pull into my driveway, tears are streaming down my cheeks.

"I can't do this," I whisper to the empty car. "I can't."

19

NIKOLAI

Iwake to cold sheets.

Empty bed.

Gone.

The space where Lilly should be feels like a wound. Vacant, but her perfume still lingers. Traumatizes. Reminds.

I sit up, take a look around. The bedroom looks like a hurricane hit it. My shirt is missing from the chair where I left it.

She probably took it.

The thought should make me smile. Should make me happy that she took something to remember this by.

Instead, it pisses me off.

Because she still fucking left.

Without a word. Without explanation. Just slipped out like a thief in the night while I was sleeping off the best sex of my life.

I check my phone. No missed calls. No texts.

Nothing.

Like last night meant nothing to her.

I know that's bullshit. Know she felt what I felt. But knowing doesn't make waking up alone any easier.

I pull on jeans, grab a fresh shirt from the closet. The cabin feels too quiet without her here. Too empty.

This is exactly what she did five years ago. Disappeared without explanation. Left me wondering what the hell I did wrong.

---