Page 89 of Mountain Daddy

Those three words he says scares the living daylights out of me. Some part of me believes he might be right.

I stumble back, put some space between us. I need air. I need a wall between me and him.

“This is exactly why I ran,” my voice quivers. “I don’t want my son anywhere near a world like this. Chicago was full of crime. You brought it here.”

“Tell me the truth, Lilly. Once and for all.” His voice drops lower. “Is he mine?”

The lie sits heavy on my tongue. Sour. Poisonous. But my version of necessary.

“No.”

“Bullshit,” Nikolai’s voice is agony. “Look me in the eyes and say it.”

I force my spine into steel. “He's not yours, Nikolai.”

“He has my eyes.”

“Many people have your eyes.”

“Please, can’t you just tell me the truth and we’ll figure it out from there?”

The desperation flashing across Nikolai's face is so raw, so genuine, that I almost want to tell him the truth.

But then I think of dead men. Of the blood on my bakery floor. Of the life Nikolai leads.

“Look. Chleo isn't yours.” I wrap my arms around myself. “And you need to leave Fern Falls. Today. Before more people die.”

“Lilly—”

“Please, Nikolai. If you care about me at all, if you ever felt anything real for me, you'll go. You'll leave us alone.”

Something breaks in his expression. Something final.

“Is that what you really want?”

No. God, no. I want him to stay. Want him to be the father Chleo deserves. Want him to hold me like he did moments ago.

But I can't have what I want. Not if it means putting my son in danger.

“Yes,” I whisper. “It's what I want.”

The silence between us stretches so thin I can hear my own heartbeat.

That's when the pantry door opens. Chleo comes racing out, a drawing clutched in his small hand.

“Mama! Look what I made!”

He skids to a stop when he sees Nikolai. His face lights up in that way that makes my heart ache.

“Hi!” Chleo waves the paper. “I drew a horse. Wanna see?”

Nikolai kneels down, bringing himself to Chleo's eye level. “I'd love to see it.”

Chleo proudly holds up his drawing.

“That's incredible,” Nikolai says softly. “You're very talented.”

“Rosa says I'm a natural. Do you like horses?”

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