Page 109 of Mountain Daddy

Eventually, the sobs subside. The adrenaline crash hits me hard. My limbs feel leaden. My eyes heavy.

Nikolai guides me to the couch. Settles beside me. Pulls me against his chest.

His heart beats strong and steady under my ear. His arms hold me like I'm something precious. Something worth protecting.

Sleep pulls at me. Drags me under.

Just before I surrender to it, the words slip out. Soft. Unplanned. True.

“I love you.”

He doesn't say it back. Doesn't stiffen or pull away. Just presses his lips to the top of my head.

Not a promise. But maybe a beginning.

25

NIKOLAI

Iwake before dawn. Old habits. The weight of Lilly against my chest feels strange.

We’ve never done this before.

Woken up next to each other.

She told me she loved me.

This feels new. The fact of the matter is that she matters. She fucking matters.

And I don’t know where to file this little fact. How to process it.

Finally. She’s mine.

I extract myself carefully, lay her head on a cushion. In the kitchen, I stare at the contents of my fridge like they're written in a foreign language. Never cooked for a kid before. Never had a reason to.

The coffee maker gurgles. My hands move on autopilot, cracking eggs into a bowl. Adding milk. Salt. The mundane tasks feelsurreal after last night's bloodshed. My knuckles are scraped. Evidence of what I did to keep them safe.

My son sleeps in the next room.

My son.

The words still feel foreign in my mind.

Like they belong to someone else.

Some other man who deserves this chance.

I hear small footsteps. Hesitant. Curious. I turn to find Chleo standing in the doorway, hair sticking up in all directions. Dinosaur pajamas rumpled from sleep.

“Morning,” I say, voice softer than I knew it could be.

He blinks at me. Studies me with those eyes—my eyes—taking in everything. “Are you making breakfast?”

“Trying to.” I gesture at the eggs. “You like pancakes?”

His whole face lights up. “With chocolate chips?”

“If I have them.” I check the cupboard. Find a bag. Must have been left by the cleaning service. “Looks like you're in luck.”

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