Page 54 of Our Song

Later, when we were on our second glass of wine and eating vegetable tagine (Tadhg) and risotto (me), he said, ‘So, listen, how are you feeling about this gig?You’re definitely okay about playing it, right?’

‘Definitely,’ I said.And I really was.Nervous, sure, but also excited.

‘And, like, we’ll only be playing about six songs,’ said Tadhg.‘We can finish with ‘Midnight Feast’.It has all the words.’He softly sings the chorus.‘Couldn’t make it work / no matter how you tried / It’s a midnight feast / but I’m not satisfied.’

And because I’d had two glasses of wine, I unthinkingly said, ‘I hope Dan’s not in the audience to hear it.’

‘Dan?’said Tadhg.‘Is that the guy you went out with last year?’

I groaned.‘Forget I said anything.’

‘Is the song about him?’

‘No!I mean, it doesn’t matter!’I could feel myself blushing.

‘I’m starting to think,’ said Tadhg, ‘that this whole midnight-feast thing isn’t actually about food.’

I hid my face in my hands.‘Oh God!’

‘Well, if Dan is listening in the audience,’ said Tadhg, ‘it’ll serve him right for, um, not trying harder.’

‘Shut up!’But I laughed, despite myself.‘So go on, who are your lyrics about?What about ‘Anyone But You’?’

‘Unlike you, Lol,’ said Tadhg with a grin, ‘I’m a gentleman.I’m saying nothing.’

He’d never called me Lol before.

‘Well,’ I said, ‘I’m no gentleman.’

We’d finished our second glasses of wine.I couldn’t really afford another one.(I couldn’t technically afford this dinner.) I actually had an essay due on Friday.I really should go home.

But shit, I didn’t want to.I really, really didn’t want to.I wanted to stay with him.I wanted to hear him call me Lol again in that fond, familiar way.

Then for some reason I suddenly thought of Tadhg’s cool classmate Jess.Would she tipsily urge Tadhg to stay out for one more drink that neither of them could afford on a Wednesdaynight, when both of them had early starts the next day?If she wanted to spend more time with him, would she be so blatant about it?Probably not.

So I sighed and said, ‘We should probably head.’

‘Really?’said Tadhg.He looked at his watch.‘Oh.Yeah.I suppose you’re right.I have a psychoacoustics class first thing in the morning.You’d want to be awake for that.’

He didn’t exactly seem like he was dying to leave, and for a moment I considered saying,Fuck it, let’s go to the Buttery and get a cheap drink.But reason prevailed.

‘Let’s get the bill,’ I said.

A few minutes later, we were walking past the Bank of Ireland on College Green.

‘Thanks,’ said Tadhg, ‘for introducing me to that place.We should go there again.’

‘Yeah,’ I said.‘We should.’

We walked in companionable silence for a moment and then Tadhg said, ‘Have I said how glad I am that we’ve found each other again?’

‘Not in so many words,’ I said.

‘Well,’ he said, ‘I am.’

We reached my bus stop.And suddenly the atmosphere was different.Now there was something crackling between us, something that had always been there but was now charged with electricity.

‘Yeah?’I said.

---