Page 93 of Our Song

‘Um, a few hours ago?’He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.‘I’ve just come from her flat.Fuck.Sorry.It was … It was rough.She didn’t expect it.I feel like a total prick.’

‘Oh, Tadhg, I’m sorry,’ I said.And I really was.I mean, I couldn’t pretend my first reaction to this news was total sadness.But he was clearly so upset.And Jess … shit.Poor Jess.She didn’t deserve to be as unhappy as she probably was now.

‘I know I had to do it,’ he said.‘It just wasn’t right anymore.She was talking about me going to her parents’ house in France when my job finishes in the summer, and I couldn’t let her start making plans, it wasn’t fair, I didn’t want to … shit, I don’t know.’

He looked so shaken I was genuinely worried.‘Where are you going now?’

‘I’m meeting Ruairí in the Long Hall.Sorry to dump all of this on you.You’re going to be even more late for Fiachra.’

‘He won’t mind,’ I said.‘Will you— Are you okay?’

‘I will be,’ he said.He let out a long breath.‘I know I did the right thing.It just doesn’t feel all that right at the moment.’

‘Okay,’ I said.‘Well, take care of yourself.’

Then I hugged him.He rested his head on my shoulder for a moment and said, ‘I will.Thanks, Lol.I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Fifteen minutes later, I arrived at Fiachra’s house.‘There you are!’he said when he opened the door.

‘Come here,’ I said.

And as I kissed him, a shameful little part of my brain was thinking just one thing.

Tadhg was single again.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

2019

I’m leaning on the kitchen counter, waiting for my toast to pop up and listening to a ridiculous but entertaining podcast about Sweet Valley High books when I glance at the calendar on the wall and realise what date it is.And despite myself, I feel a little pang.

Today would have been my and Dave’s eight-year anniversary.Eight whole years since we went for a drink and ended up kissing on the corner of Aungier Street on the way home.It feels like a lifetime ago.

We’re both in very different places now.

I walk to Tadhg’s through Marino, avoiding the busier main road at Fairview, and it’s all so normal that I wonder why I was so nervous about walking over to his place.But then I reach Marino Crescent, and things are very different.It’s scarier than I thought it might be.There are more people than ever in the park, including some who are clearly members of the paparazzirather than Tadhg fans.And – oh God!– now they know my name.

‘Laura!Over here!Laura!’

‘Laura, is it true you’re homeless?’

‘We love you, Laura!’

‘Leave Tadhg alone!’

‘Laura!’

‘Laura!’

They crowd around me as I get closer to Tadhg’s house.I pull my parka hood as far forward as it’ll go and hurry up to the gate, where I realise a burly security man is standing.When I approach, he gets between me and the photographers.

‘In you go, Ms McDermott.’

The gate buzzes before I can even hit the bell, and I all but run through it and slam it behind me.That was horrible.Maybe this was a mistake.Maybe we should just have called it a day.Maybe this is impossible.

The front door is open when I get there, and Tadhg is in the hall, his face grim.

‘Shit, Laura, I’m so, so sorry about this.’

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