Page 67 of Our Song

‘But if there’s, like, a big post-gig thing in Ruairí’s I can see if she wants to go …’

Don’t beg him to go to the party.Don’t show him how much you don’t want him to go to Jess’s flat.

‘Tadhg!’I said, in a mock-scolding voice.‘You can’t do that to Jess.If she’s invited you back to her place she won’t be up for Ruairí’s house with a huge crowd instead.’

‘Tim!’And here was Jess, right between us.‘Sorry, Laura, mind if I steal your bandmate for a minute?’

I plastered on a big smile.‘He’s all yours!’

Back to her flat, back to her flat.He was going back to herflat.But maybe it was just a friendly thing.Maybe it was a party with all of their classmates.Maybe he wouldn’t go.

‘We’ve got to stop meeting like this,’ said a voice behind me.

I turned round.‘Fiachra?’

There he was, the library crush who’d chatted me up after my last gig, the man I lost my virginity to, the man responsible for my first orgasm, the first person I was truly, if briefly, in love with.

‘You really were great on stage earlier,’ he said.

‘I think you might actually say that to all the girls,’ I said.

‘Only to you,’ he said with a grin.

I noted, in an almost detached way, that he was still very, very cute.He was almost as tall as Tadhg, though his dark hair was shorter and his style was still more Mo’ Wax DJ than shaggy retro indie boy.

‘What are you doing here?’I said.

‘Paul from Shatner is in my psychology class,’ said Fiachra.‘You know, I hoped the Laura on the posters would be you.’

‘Did you now?’I said.I glanced over to the back of the room and saw Jess and Tadhg standing very close together.She said something and he laughed.

I made myself turn back to Fiachra and moved a little closer to him.

‘And why did you hope that?’I said, raising my eyebrows.

‘Because you look really fucking hot when you’re playing the guitar,’ he said.

‘Oh yeah?’I said.And despite myself, despite the fact thatthis was classic Fiachra – he was always incredibly flirty both while and after we were together, and whenever I flirted back even a little he pushed it with me as far as he could go – I felt a little thrill.See,someonedefinitely finds me attractive!

‘You still look pretty hot now, if you don’t mind me saying so,’ he said.‘All … tousled.’

I looked towards the back of the room.Jess’s hand was resting on Tadhg’s arm now as she laughed up at him.And he was smiling down at her as if she was the best thing he’d ever seen.

Fuck it, I thought.Fuck them.Mind if I steal your bandmate for a minute?

I looked up at Fiachra.‘I don’t mind you saying so.’

He held my gaze for a long moment that was suddenly, genuinely, full of tension.Then he kissed me.And I kissed him back.Hard.

Fiachra was always areallygood kisser.

See?I thought.See?I’m not just sitting around while Tadhg flirts with Jess.I bit gently on Fiachra’s bottom lip and he pulled me closer to him, letting out a low growl of a breath.His hands spanned my waist, something he always used to do when we were together, and it was very hot and familiar at the same time and I let myself go with it, I just kept kissing him and for a while I forgot about why I’d started doing it.

And then I remembered, and pulled back from him a little.

‘Wow,’ said Fiachra.‘I should come to your gigs more often.’

I looked over at Tadhg and Jess.

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