Page 65 of Our Song

‘Wow!’I said.‘Well done.That sounds fun!’Why did I always sound so blandly stupid when she was around?‘Anyway, I’d better run, I’ve got a lecture in ten minutes.’

‘I saw your gig posters, by the way!’said Jess.‘Tim told me about the name thing, it’s so good.’

‘Can you make the gig?’I prayed the answer would be no.

‘Now I’ve seen what Tim can do with one wonky acoustic guitar,’ she said, ‘there is absolutely no way I’m missing seeing his band.’

Hisband?But I wasn’t going to argue about that with her right now.‘That’s brilliant!’My relentless cheerfulness was sounding deranged even to me.‘See you there!’

But still, I thought as I hurried across to the Arts Block,but still, they were just hanging out with her family on Saturday.And the hope remained.

The gig was on Thursday, the night before the last day of the college term.On Wednesday the band met up to go through the schedule.The gig was starting to seem very real now.And a huge deal.Would the magic we felt in Brian’s garage vanish when we were playing in front of other people?Were we just fooling ourselves when we thought we were actually good?

When we left the Buttery, Tadhg and I found ourselves lagging behind the others and he said, ‘How are you feeling?’

‘What do you mean?’I said.

‘About the gig.’

‘Um, mostly excited,’ I said, which was true.‘But also a bit nervous.’

‘Don’t be nervous.You’ll be brilliant.’We were on the ramp that led to Front Square and he stopped and turned to me.‘We’ll be brilliant.’

‘Are you going to wear the dead man’s suit?’I said.

‘Course I am,’ he said.‘Are you going to wear that dress?’

‘I’m not sure,’ I said.

‘You should,’ said Tadhg.

I didn’t wear it, in the end.For a while after that night, I stupidly wondered if things might have been different if I had.But on the day I was too self-conscious about the low cut, and also genuinely worried about accidentally exposing myself while playing on stage.So I wore another charity-shop find instead, a black sixties sleeveless shift dress with a white lace collar, less sexy but still, I hoped, pretty cool, which I paired with bare legs and Converse low-tops.I had butterflies in my stomach as I descended the stairs that led to the venue for the sound check.Tadhg and Joanna were there already, chatting with Ruairí.

‘The poster child herself!’said Ruairí.I gave him the finger.He ignored it and said, ‘Shatner are about to soundcheck and then it’ll be you.’

After our very brief soundcheck we barely had time to grab food and get back to the venue before the doors opened.People were coming in now, and one of the first was Jess, with some extremely glamorous friends.Jess was wearing perfectly fitting indigo jeans and a tight navy T-shirt with an asymmetric silver print.I was on my way to the loos to do my make-up when they passed me.I would have much preferred to meet them after doing my make-up.I would also have preferred to meet them while wearing the seventies maxi dress.

‘Hi, Laura!’said Jess.‘Wow, I love the dress, it’s so cute.Vintage?’

‘Thanks,’ I said.‘Yeah, it is.’And then, because I felt I had to say something friendly, ‘Thanks for coming.’

‘I wouldn’t miss it.Is Tim here?’

‘He’s at the bar,’ I said.‘Sorry, I have to dash.’I scuttled off to the bathroom, and by the time I came out, with an impressively clean cat-eye liner for someone whose hands were almost shaking with nerves, the venue was almost full.I looked around for the others and to my massive relief saw Katie and Sarah at a table at the back of the venue.

I slipped into a seat.‘God, I need a drink.’

Sarah shook her head.‘Turning to booze already.The rock-and-roll lifestyle is taking its toll.’

As if by magic, someone wearing a dark brown suit jacket reached over my shoulder and put a pint of cider on the table in front of me.I turned around in my seat.

‘I thought you might want a pint,’ said Tadhg.‘Hey, everyone.’

‘Evening, Father Timothy,’ said Katie, winking at him.

‘Do you want to join us?’said Sarah.She was in college at UCD but she’d met Tadhg plenty of times on nights out.

‘Thanks, but I’ve got a pint over there.’He pointed to a table where Jess and her friends were talking to Brian and his new girlfriend, the dreaded Caroline, then turned to me.‘You okay?No last-minute nerves?’

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