Page 14 of Our Song

‘Okay,’ I say.

‘Plus, to be perfectly honest,’ says Katie, ‘the rent really helps.We’re still paying off the credit union for these windows.’

‘I could pay more,’ I say, even though I’m not sure I can at the moment, given my employment situation.Katie and Jeanne are charging me way less than market rate.

‘This is your home,’ says Katie, ‘for as long as you want it to be.’

Katie and I became friends before teenage girls routinely said ‘I love you!’to their platonic female friends, and so it feels too contrived for us to say those words to each other, even now.

But this – this is love.

‘Thanks, Kay,’ I say.

‘And besides,’ she says with a grin, ‘when Tadhg records your song and you’ve made millions from it, you can pay off my windows loan.’

Through supreme self-control, I manage to stop myself looking at any Tadhg-related content online for most of the weekend, but on Sunday evening I crack, open Instagram and type in @TadhgHennessyMusic.

Logic tells me he doesn’t handle his own social media, but the vibe of the account really does feel like him.Or at least the him I remember from a long time ago.There are no self-conscious thirst traps of him gazing thoughtfully into the distance or smouldering into the camera.Some of the photos look like they were taken by professional photographers, but most of them don’t.

‘Our sensitive king!’says one comment, followed by several crown emojis.

He’s not always that fucking sensitive, I think.

Chapter Six

2019

The next morning is my first day of freedom or unemployment, depending on how you want to look at it, but I don’t have a lie-in.I wake up at seven thinking about how I’m going to reply to that stupid email.I don’t have to say yes, I remind myself.I’ve survived without any contact with Tadhg for over a decade.I don’t need to see him again.

But I know that if I don’t say yes, the thought of what that meeting might have been like will drive me mad.

And so, while the kettle is still boiling, I start writing.

Dear Tara,

Thanks for your email.

Why am I thanking her?No, keep it brusque and professional.Polite but not too eager.Keep an air of mystery.Or at least unavailability.Oh God, why is this so hard?

Half an hour and two cups of tea later, I have this:

Dear Tara,

I can make time to meet Tadhg this week to discuss the song.Somewhere in the city centre on Wednesday or Thursday around lunchtime would be good for me.If you need to get in touch with me urgently you can contact me on the number below.

Yours,

Laura

Katie rushes into the room.‘Did I leave my runners in here?’

‘Under the table,’ I say.‘Can you take a look at this?’

Katie shoves her feet into her runners and takes my phone.‘Very good,’ she says.‘Short and to the point.’

‘I didn’t want to say “I have no other obligations because I’m unemployed and desperate so I’m free all week and I’ll travel anywhere”,’ I say.

‘Yes, I got that,’ says Katie.‘Now, I’m sorry but I’m late and I’ve got to teach some ungrateful brats about executions in the Civil War.’

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