Page 45 of A Rift in the House of Bruin

Luca had gone hunting, which left me with time on my hands. I hadn’t had a moment alone since we’d left Mathenholm, and I wasn’t sure I was prepared to face everything that had happened. Maybe this was the universe’s way of forcing me to digest my feelings for these brothers and figure out what the fuck I was going to do now that my heart had gotten tangled in this fated mess.

I made my way back to the room in search of paper and a quill. If I could write it down, then maybe I could make sense of it all. Before I reached the door, Nico stepped out of an adjacent room and into the shadowed hallway with me.

“I thought you were meeting with Lucius?” I asked casually, before I could make out the look on his face. His jaw was set in a hard line and his brow furrowed, a darkness cast over his eyes. He took purposeful strides toward me, and I backed away from him instinctively. I hit the door, the handle digging into the small of my back as Nico cornered me with his muscled arms.

“Is everything alright?” I asked, fighting to keep the edge of fear from my voice. Nico would never hurt me.

“It should have been me,” he said, breaking my stare. His gaze roamed over my lips and neck. “I was raised to be logical. To analyze every aspect. It’s a trait of a good king—or so I’ve been led to believe. I never should have hesitated when it came to you.”

His face was so close to mine I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“Hesitate? You’re destined to take the throne. Your life’s already been planned out for you. You have a betrothed, for God’s sake. I don’t fit into your world, Nico. I never expected you to drop everything because your Divine has placed some mythical expectations upon us.”

“It’s not a myth,” he growled, pounding a fist into the door behind me. “Don’t you feel it? Or am I the only one of us in agony?”

“Yes. I feel it. But I want you to choose to be with me—not because the meddling of some deity forced you into it.”

“Now that Lucius has told you about being fated, there’s no taking it back. How can I prove to you how I feel? You’ll always second-guess me.”

“If you truly want this?—”

“I want it more than I want my next breath.”

“Then you’ll have to work for it. Just because we have the title of ‘fated’ doesn’t mean you get to skip all the good parts. I’m quite fond of the idea of falling in love with you.”

Nico growled again, pressing his body into mine. “Challenge accepted, little bird. But just so you know, I’m done waiting on the sidelines. I know what I want, and you’ll find that I’m not easily deterred.”

“I was hoping you weren’t,” I whispered, trying to be bold even though butterflies swarmed at my core.

His lips slammed on mine—fierce and consuming. A heady rush washed over me and I kissed him back. I wanted no regrets in whatever life I had left, and in that moment, I couldn’t deny that I wanted him. I wanted him to lift me up and bring me into the bedroom. To explore this newfound passion and see how he could make my body sing.

His hands wrapped into my hair, pulling tight and pinning me in place while he explored my mouth. I hitched my leg around him, trying to pull him closer even though our bodies were already molded together. But as I yearned for more, he ended it—pulling away from me, leaving my scorched body behind.

“The lady has asked to be wooed. Not ravaged in a dark hallway,” he said, taking another step away from me, leaving altogether too much space between us.

“I don’t remember saying that ravaging was off the table.”

Nico laughed, and the sound filled me. It was those small glimpses of joy in these dark moments that made it all worth it. “After I meet with Lucius, I’ll be taking him and Luca with me on a raid. You’ll be safe here with Fallon until we get back.”

The joy faded just like that, and our reality came crashing back. “A raid?”

Nico sighed, his gaze shifting to the ceiling. “It’s necessary. We’ll never be safe here if I can’t take out Johan. We need weapons so I can build an army, and I need an army so I can protect you. Johan has an order of iron coming in from thenorthern territories. The plan is to relieve him of that shipment and use it for our own.”

“A few days in the woods and you’re already becoming a thief. I’d say there’s some truth to the dark magic in this forest,” I said, joking. But Nico only offered me a sad smile.

“Don’t think too poorly of me. Every move I make now has good intentions, I promise.”

“I don’t doubt it one bit. Make sure all of you come back to me safely.”

Istayed close to the cabin, wandering just far enough to find the perfect spot to clear my head. Sun-warmed stones stood cradled into a bend of the river. It was an idyllic place, with tall, proud pines skirting the riverbanks. The perfect spot to sort out the complete mess I’d made of my life.

I pulled the piece of parchment and quill from my pack, along with the tiny vial of sprite ash. The jar of glittering dust felt cool and smooth between my fingers, and I contemplated taking another dose. I didn’t need it. My health was stable. But I was holding a release in my hands. The ash would take away my racing thoughts and give me a moment of peace. Even if it was fabricated, the thought was extremely enticing.

I dropped the vial back in my pack, refusing to take the easy way out, and settled on writing a letter to my sister. I needed a sympathetic ear—someone to give me advice. A role Gwen had filled my entire life. My half of the Loquentes Cartis had been left behind when we fled Mathenholm Castle, so there was no possible way to get a letter to her in Neverland. But the realms between us wouldn’t prevent me from pouring my heart out to her—even if she’d never hear my words.

I situated myself against a boulder, using my pack as a desk, cleared my mind, and began to write.

Dearest Sweetie,

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