Page 121 of It's Always Been You

Clear drops splattered on her cheek. He couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. His hand shook as he held it against her nose. Not breathing. He felt for her pulse.

No pulse.

19

It had been three hours.

Nate was leaning against the wall, looking at everyone waiting anxiously for news. Caitlin coded twice. The first time, Travis kept it together to immediately administer CPR and he was able to get her back just when the paramedics arrived. The second time was when they unloaded the gurney from the ambulance. That was when Travis lost his shit because it was beyond his control. Nate and Ed had to hold him back and talk him down so the nurses and doctors could do their jobs without Travis screaming at them to save her.

The flurry of activity, the rush of people in scrubs, and the urgency of the situation when the doctor climbed on top of the gurney to execute CPR as it was wheeled into the operating theatre, simply broke his friend.

Travis was now quietly simmering in a corner alone. Nate couldn’t bear to look at him, for his ravaged face was the picture of a man on the brink of losing everything. The anger, agony, and despair emanating from every inch of Travis reminded him of the man three years ago following Sarah’s death. Except this time, Travis would endure through every second of his wife fighting to stay alive.

Lillian and Daniel were sitting solemnly beside Beatrice. Travis’s parents showed up within the hour of receiving the news. When they hugged their son he was rigid; his arms were limp at his sides. God knows what limbo Travis had retreated to. He was unreachable, as though trapped in his own private hell. He had tuned everyone out.

Beatrice caught Nate’s eye and jerked her head toward Travis. She wanted him to go to their friend. No right words came to mind at the moment. But he could stand by his friend and offer his silent support.

He walked over and leaned against the wall beside Travis. He squeezed his friend’s shoulder briefly, not saying anything. It surprised him when Travis did.

“He did it out of spite.”

Nate stilled. “Who?”

“Crowe,” Travis bit off. “Porter was the one with the gun, but Caitlin was the one who messed up Crowe’s plans in taking her with him. He was fucked. If Caitlin died, he knew I would hate Porter forever.” Travis shifted on his feet and then continued, “I’m glad he’s not here. He straight out lied about the pictures, Nate. He led me to believe that Caitlin betrayed me. I can’t look at him and not think that he’d played with our lives, thinking he was God. That over two years of friendship was nothing to him except one big fucking agenda. And now Caitlin is paying the ultimate price.”

“Travis—” Nate squeezed his shoulder again, this time reminding him that Beatrice was just a couple of feet away. The redhead had grown pale and started fidgeting with her fingers.

“I’ve been going over this in my mind,” Travis said hoarsely. “What if she wakes up and doesn’t remember who I am?”

Shit. Nate didn’t think about that.

“I’d do it all over again, Nate,” he continued. “Make her fall in love with me. I don’t care if it takes weeks or months. Aslong as I have her. I’ll love her enough for both of us until she’ll learn to love me again.” His lips pressed into a bitter smile and he shook his head. “It kills me that we had a fight because of my stupidity. I hurt her. And then before I could make it right,thishappened.”

Travis cocked his head sideways to look at Nate, shaking his head in regret. “What if she dies not knowing I realized I fucked up.”

“Don’t you dare lose hope, Trav,” Nate whispered fiercely. The fight was leaving his friend, judging by the slump in his shoulders.

“I can’t live without her.”

“You won’t live without her. She has survived before; she’ll survive this time.”

“She told me she loved me.” This time Travis’s lips lifted in a faint smile.

“I was there, buddy.”

“It’s always been her.”

“I know, Trav.”

Nate looked up to see every pair of eyes in the waiting room on them. Lillian had been crying on and off, and Beatrice’s eyes were puffy. Everyone knew if Travis lost Caitlin today, he would never recover. Ever.

An hour later,the OR doors finally swooshed open and a man in dark blue scrubs walked through.

“Caitlin Kincaid?”

“You’re so beautiful, sunshine girl.”

“Keep that thing away from me.”

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