Page 99 of Always Been Mine

“Is Rhino okay?” Gabe asked.

“Yes. He’s snoring on his dog bed. I think he knew he wasn’t getting any of this delicious concoction.”

Gabe added a bit of brown sugar and then a pinch of salt to the hot beverage before turning off the stove. He poured the dark, thick liquid into two mugs and handed one to her.

“What were you thinking about?”

He grinned crookedly. “The first time I made this for you.” They sat on the barstools around the kitchen island.

A blush stole up Beatrice cheeks. Damned cute.

“I remember that night.”

“You still insisted on going home,” he chided. “I wanted to fuck you all possible ways that night.”

“Judging by our lack of control when we got to your apartment, I’m thankful that one of us was still thinking of the consequences,” Beatrice retorted. “I don’t think I would have been able to walk the next day if you had your way.”

Gabe snorted. “Damn right. You were a very difficult woman to pin down.”

“I couldn’t trust you,” Beatrice said. “You would disappear for weeks, and then suddenly you would hound me every single hour of the day. All along you were still working for Dad.”

“Not after I’d asked you to become mine,” Gabe said. “You had no idea how much I wanted to tear apart every man you’ve dated, especially that fucking lawyer.”

“You expected me to pine for you?”

“In a selfish way, yes.” Gabe’s hand tightened around the mug. “You certainly had no shortage of men taking my place.”

“I never slept with them, Gabe,” Beatrice said quietly. “It never got that far. Contrary to what you think, I dated, but I don’t sleep with two men at the same time.”

Gabe nodded. When they first got together, he had been wary of asking her if she was sleeping with anyone else, thinking it would drive him to extreme jealousy and destroy their relationship even before it began. It didn’t take long before he destroyed it himself, and it had been the biggest regret of his life. “It killed me to leave you.”

“Gabe, we’re past that. It’s done.”

“Is it?”

“Why are you bringing this up again?”

Gabe finished the hot cocoa before he turned on his barstool to face her. “I killed the person inside me when I thought I could never have you. It was the only way I could function and do my job. Now, having you back, it scares me that I actually have this second chance with you. I can’t lose you, Beatrice. If you leave me, I’m nothing. If you get taken away from me, I’ll have nothing left. Nothing and no one will ever be enough to make life worth living.”

“Gabe, I don’t define you—”

“You do. More than you know. The man I am now is the man I’ve created to be what you need. Do you understand what I’m telling you, Beatrice? Everything I’ve done for the past three years destroyed the man you knew, except the part that loved you.”

Beatrice lips trembled, her eyes glazed. “Gabe—”

“I hung on to the memory of you,” he whispered. “It was buried deep down, but that was the only part of me I couldn’t let go. The promise of you saved me, Beatrice. That’s all that’s left of me now. My love for you. I’m not telling you this so you’ll pity me or think I’m emotionally blackmailing you to stay with me. I need you to understand why I’m consumed with keeping you safe. Because keeping you safe is keeping my sanity safe; it’s keeping my heart safe. It’s a selfish reason in a way. You need to know I’m not the same.” Gabe clenched his jaw. “You’re not getting a whole person.”

“Oh, Gabe, you’re so wrong.” Beatrice reached out and cupped his jaw. He caught her hand and turned his head to kiss it. “I can never define you, because no person, entity, or words can define you. You defy limits. I loved the man you were before, but I’m crazy in love with the man you are now. Telling me you’ve been able to come back from all the ugliness because you’ve kept your love for me burning inside you? You have no idea how romantic that sounds.”

Gabe snorted. “I’m the least romantic person.”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure everything that came out of your mouth in the last two minutes was romantic.”

“In a needy kind of way, maybe,” he grumbled.

“Hey, even superheroes can be needy once in a while. You’re arrogant and domineering 99% of the time.”

“Sass,” Gabe’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “You’re sassing me right now, right?”

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