She wasn’t calm.
She was subdued.
Humiliated.
I stagger back until I hit the wall. My hand slams against it to brace myself, bile burning at my throat.
What the fuck have I done?
I don’t bother trying to push the guilt down. It barrels through me, flattening everything in its path.
I built somethinggood. Something fragile and beautiful and rare—with her laughter, her gentle teasing, her sleepy good mornings, and the way she’d steal my hoodie like she had a claim to it. She did.
And Iwreckedit.
Deliberately. Violently.
But...why?
Was it because I believed Tim? Did I actually believe him?
Or was I always waiting for a reason to sabotage this?
I move numbly into the living room. Same space. Different world. I sit where Tim sat. And for a horrifying second, I realize—I’m guilty of exactly what he did.
And I feeldisgusted.
He made a selfish choice in the name of identity. And I just did the same thing in the name of... what? Revenge? Vindication?
No. This wasn’t revenge.
This was self-destruction.
I was teetering on the edge, and I just jumped.
My gaze lands on the floor.
Her slippers. Yes,hers. Always will be.
They’re sitting there like she’ll come back and wear them again. I crouch. Touch the heel of one. My fingers shake.
I don’t just feel guilt anymore.
I feel...grief.
Because even though my brain doesn’t want to, my heart has started mourning her. Fuck.
I drop my head into my hands. A fire ignites behind my eyes, hot and unbearable. I breathe raggedly through it. I think I’m sober now. Which makes it worse.
The cool touch of the charm on my wrist brushes against my skin. I look down. It’s still there.
And then I see the time on my watch.
1:27 AM.
I let her leave. Alone.
Toronto’s not dangerous, but downtown? At this hour?