Page 120 of Glass Jawed
And for the first time in forever, the only ache in my chest is from laughing too damn hard.
??????
Last night was amazing. It had to be—Kashvi’s finally here. I can’t even remember the last time the whole crew was together like this. Definitely a few years.
I made a conscious decision not to drink. After that drunk text and even stupider drunk call tohim, I wasn’t about to make a repeat performance.
But it’s been four days since. And not a single message from Lucian. Still, his voice won’t leave my head. His words keep echoing.
You didn’t ask the why.
Did I need to?
Maybe not.
But I remember his voice—cracked and quiet—and I felt every sniffle in my bones. Maybe I’m weak enough to believe he was sincere.
Still. I don’t care if he comes up with the most eloquent, soul-shattering explanation known to mankind. It doesn’t change the fact that he onceplannedto hurt me. That he was once so driven by malice that I was nothing more than a step in his revenge.
Fine. Great. Gold star for being the poster boy of toxicity. But seriously...
Do toxic people follow their victims across the damn ocean?
Apparently,yes. Yes, they do.
I don’t even know why I still have feelings for the man he pretended to be. That man never existed. But lately, he feelsmore like that man. A little real. A little vulnerable. And I don’t understand it.
But God, why do Iwantto?
That’s the only way I can justify sitting at this café. Waiting for him. To hear the pathetic “why” he flew across the world to offer.
I’d like to blame Kashvi for this. But really, all she said was one sentence—and maybe I misinterpreted it—but it stuck.
“Looks like he’s finally giving you a chance to get that damn closure. He’s a bitch for it. But yeah... I get it. Maybe he just wants to explain away the blame and walk away.”
Well. If this is closure—I’ll fucking take it.
I don’t plan on dragging it out. I know I didn’t let him speak that night in Toronto. But that doesn’t mean I was ready to listen then.
I’m more equipped now. Stronger. Calmer. Sharper. I’ll ask the right questions. I’ll gauge every word. I’ll let him talk.
He walks in just then, scanning the café. His eyes land on me. And he walks over without a word, sitting across from me like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
I try to read his expression. It’s a mess of regret, tension... and something else.Love?
No. Not acknowledging that.
“You came here to tell me thewhy,” I say as evenly as I can. “So go ahead.”
He nods, jaw tight. I notice that he’s still wearing the damn Cooper bracelet when he rests his hands on the table.Fuck.
“I’m going to say some things,” he starts, his voice low. “And you can stop me at any point. Reject it. Shut me down. I get that. But I’m really hoping you’ll let me tell you everything.”
I narrow my eyes at his bluntness—but nod.
He exhales. “When I kissed you on the cheek that first night, I didn’t want to stop. When you beat me at ping pong, I becamethe proudest sore loser in the world. I was...consumedby you. And at some point, I forgot how it started.Whyit started.”
He swallows, shaking his head. “I swear to you—everythingbetween us was real. So fucking real that... every time you brought up that night with Tim, I shut down. Not because it wasn’t important—but because I felt so damnguilty.”
