Page 128 of Hide From Me

No. I didn’t lose her.

We’re still together. She never said the words“We’redone”or“This is over,”and that means it’s not. Technically, I'm still her boyfriend, even if she’s emotionally halfway across the goddamn planet. And since that’s the case—if there’s even athreadleft—I still have a responsibility to do right by her.

I growl under my breath, frustration simmering just below the surface as I dig into my pocket for the key. It’s awkwardly wedged between my knuckles since my shoulder is still in that stupid sling. I hate it. I hate how weak it makes me feel. How useless.

I didn’t fight Caspian on it this time, though. I didn’t snap at Laura either when she tied the sling in place earlier, her hands too gentle, her smile too fake—like she was covering guilt with professionalism. I’ve kind of forgiven her, but she doesn’t need to know that yet.

I jam the key into Caspian and Cordelia’s front door and let myself in as if I live here.

The place smells like bergamot and gun oil—a strangely comforting mix of lavender soap and weapon polish that says,“Yes, we might kill people,but we exfoliate afterward.”It hits me the moment I step over the threshold, a rush of familiarity that settles in my chest like a warm blanket over broken ribs.

I slowly trail up the stairs, my hand skimming over the family photos hung along the wall. Caspian and Cordelia pose as if they’re straight out of a spy film. Sam flashes his goofy sideways grin while Jasmine stands on her tiptoes with her hands behind her back, her expression a mix of rage and shock. And then there's me, wedged somewhere in the middle, sitting in a silly green booth and looking at the bar where I know my sunshine is, even though she’s not in the picture, smiling as if I actually belong.

God, I miss that.

I miss her.

She was the reason I didn’t spiral this time. The reason I didn’t go dark when everything inside me screamed to crawl back into the pit. Because there's still achance. Because Istillhave something to fight for.

So, yeah—I’ve done my part. Ever since I got cleared for light duty, I’ve shown up at Fae’s Diner every morning like clockwork. I order those chocolate chip pancakes like they’re some kind of love spell, saying the same stupid line every time:“Hi, I’m Moe.”

Sometimes she rolls her eyes. Sometimes she calls me names. Once, I swear I saw her look like she wanted to cry, but she hasn’t told me to stop, so I haven’t.

Still, it’s driving me insane. The not knowing. The way she looks at me is like I’m someone sheusedto love but doesn’t trust anymore, and I can’t take it. Iwon’t.

So this is it—my last resort.

And if this doesn’t work...I don’t know what the hell I’ll do.

"Caspian!" Cordelia moans from behind their bedroom door, and I freeze on the last step.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Really?Thisis what I’m walking into?

I hover there, hand poised over the knob, already regretting everything about tonight. I seriously have the worst possible fucking timing, but screw it—I’m committed.

I push the door open.

The first thing I see is Caspian—half-naked, tangled in sheets, a look of pure… I don't fucking know, and honestly, I don't want to put a name to whatever the hell that is on his face.

"Good girl," he mutters against Cordelia’s neck, just as his eyes catch mine.

“Well, hello there!” I purr, and he freezes mid-movement like I just caught him punching Santa Claus.

Cordelia goes still too, her expression morphing from blissed-out to horrified in a breath.

"For fuck's sake Moe!" Caspian yells, scrambling to sit up. He gets tangled worse and flails dramatically before thudding to the floor.

I laugh. I can’t help it. I think this is the best moment I've had in a while. I look over to the tv, tsking my tongue with a shake of my head.

“Iknewyou two watched my favorite show without me.”

Cordelia throws a pillow with deadly aim. I duck, grinning.

“JesusChrist,Moe!” she groans, dragging the blanket up over her chest.

“You weren’t evensupposedto have a key anymore!” Caspian snarls from the floor.