Page 61 of Avidian
His hand cups my cheek, his thumb brushing against my skin with a tenderness that catches me off guard. “You’re already the strongest person I know,” he says quietly. “And I’m sorry for ever assuming otherwise.”
I search his eyes, looking for any trace of mockery, any hint of disbelief, but all I see is sincerity. “You didn’t have to lie to me,” he adds, “but I get why you did. And for what it’s worth, I don’t care about what you have or haven’t done. I care about you.”
It relieves an ache I didn’t realize I was carrying, but then his expression darkens slightly. “And I want to go back and kill that fuck Eduard all over again for touching you.”
He rolls off me onto his side, still facing me, his gaze unwavering. “You don’t have to prove anything to me,” he says. “Not tonight. Not ever.”
I let out a slow breath, “I don’t need you to go easy on me, Malachi. I’m not fragile.”
He smirks, the corner of his mouth quirking into that infuriatingly charming half-smile. “I know that,” he replies, “but that doesn’t mean I’m rushing you into something you’re not ready for.”
His patience disarms me, and I hesitate, unused to someone being so careful with me—with my feelings. It’s always been the opposite—people trying to take, to use, to bend me to their will. But Malachi…waits. His hand moves to my side, tracing slow,soothing circles over my shirt, his warmth steadying the chaos inside me.
“What if I want this?” I whisper, my fingers toying with the edge of his shirt where it meets his skin.
His eyes darken, his breath hitching slightly, and for a moment I think he might give in. But then he leans forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead so tender it makes my chest ache.
“Then we’ll take our time,” he says softly, his lips brushing against my temple. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Undone, I bury my face in his chest, letting his heartbeat steady me. His arms wrap around me, strong and secure, and for the first time I let myself fully relax into someone else’s care.
We stay like that for a long time, the candlelight dancing across the walls. His hands trace gentle patterns along my back, as if he’s content to hold me, and I realize I’ve never felt anything like this before.
“You’re going to ruin me, Kat,” he murmurs against the top of my hair, sounding like he’s not sure if he’s teasing or confessing a truth that terrifies him.
I let out a soft laugh. “Good,” I say, my fingers curling against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. “Someone should.”
Chapter Nineteen
RULE 19 OF THE NEW ORDER: DAYLIGHT HAS A WAY OF SOFTENING TRUTHS SPOKEN IN THE DARK, BUT IT DOESN’T ERASE THEM. WHAT IS SAID AT NIGHT LINGERS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH THE MORNING LIGHT TRIES TO CHASE IT AWAY.
I sneakout of bed and into the shower before Malachi wakes up. God, even asleep he looks good—his hair all disheveled, his body relaxed. I don’t know what’s come over me. The kiss, the way his hands felt on me, the sound of his voice saying my name… It’s too much. I need this cold shower to wake me up, to get my mind out of the gutter.
The cool water shocks me, grounding me as I run my fingers through my hair, rinsing away the heat clinging to my skin.
I crossed a line last night, and I’m not sure it’s one I can come back from. Not that I want to take it back, but I don’t want things to be weird. What even are we? I don’t know how Malachi feels, not really, and I groan, tilting my head back under the spray.
None of it matters. I don’t even know what my life is going to look like in the next couple of weeks. It’s reckless to think I even have the luxury of entertaining these feelings.
Get it together, Kat.
I shake my head, forcing myself to focus on the mission.Don’t let a hot, charming, infuriatingly sweet guy distract you.If—and it’s a big if—Malachi really does find a way to free me from Marco, then maybe I can revisit whatever this is. But until then, I need to protect myself, because if I fall too hard, the crash will destroy me when reality sets in.
I turn off the water, towel off quickly, and dry my hair. A little makeup helps me look more put together, and I decide on something cute but practical: warm tights and a form-fitting long-sleeve blue dress. It’s thick enough not to look completely ridiculous in the snow but flattering enough for me to feel confident in. Satisfied, I open the bathroom door, expecting Malachi to still be passed out in bed.
Instead, he strolls in from the hallway wearing nothing but a towel slung low on his hips, his dark hair damp and tousled.
Not today, God.
My eyes betray me, dragging over the hard lines of his chest, the strength in his arms, the sharp curve of muscle at his waist.
He clears his throat, a knowing smirk pulling at his lips. “See something you like, demon?”
I cough, snapping my gaze to his face, my cheeks heating. “You wish.”
He chuckles, walking to the window and pulling the blinds open, flooding the room with blinding light. Then he turns and closes the distance between us in three slow strides, his gaze raking over me. “You look so good I could take a bite out of you,” he teases, leaning down, his mischievous smile daring me to push him away.
“Hey, I do the biting around here, remember.” I show him my teeth and chomp.
