Page 58 of Someone to Have
Is there a difference? I’m not sure, but I need to believe it. I need to believe this is about finally taking charge of my life.
He stares at me for so long and with so much intensity that it feels like he can see right through to my soul. With a shock, I realize that when he kissed me in the workshop—touched me—he was holding something back.
The thought sends a shiver down my spine. What would it be like if he didn’t hold back?
How much I want to find out both terrifies and thrills me.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I thought this proposition–sex with no strings–would be straightforward, like practicing kissing on the back of my hand in middle school. Or, more recently, alone in my bedroom with my fantasies.
This would be something I’m not sure I know how to handle, and definitely more than I bargained for. But for the first time in forever, I'm not drowning in anxiety. The voices in my head that usually tell me I'm not enough are silent.
Maybe this is what confidence feels like. Isthis what happens when someone sees you and doesn't look away. He makes me feel like I’m worth the attention. That I deserve to take up space in the world. And right now I want that space to be in his arms.
16
TAYLOR
He drawsin what looks to be a steadying breath. “Are you sure you know what you’re asking?”
I lick my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. “Yes,” I whisper.
He starts to lean forward but stops when a voice calls out a greeting.
“Hey, Taylor.”
I turn to see Bryan approaching the booth with Myrna trailing behind him. His brown eyes flick between Eric and me, his bushy brows drawn together as if he can’t quite get a read on what’s happening. It’s impossible to deny the charge in the air.
“Hey, Bryan,” I answer with a lame wave of my hand. “Hi, Myrna.”
Eric straightens then leans back against the booth. Holy crap…did he just growl?
Bryan blinks. “We’re going over the rehearsal schedule for next week.”
Myrna nods, but her gaze hasn’t left Eric. Yep, the pheromones are strong with Mr. Tall, Dark and Scowly.
Those brown eyes skate over Bryan, who looks cute in a fitted sweater and dark jeans. Cute but gosh, has he always beenthat slim? My hips might be wider than his. Not that I mind, but it’s a severe contrast to Eric, who looks like he could throw me over his shoulder and carry me up a mountain—if I were into that kind of thing.
My body hums in approval. I might be into that kind of thing.
I watch as Eric turns his attention to Myrna, offering her a lazy grin. She grabs my hand like she needs to steady herself.
Girl, I get it.
“How are you feeling?” Bryan asks me. “I know your stomach was off at our last rehearsal. I hope you’re better.”
I’m not sure how to answer. I just propositioned a man for sex and am tingling from head to toe. And now I’m supposed to discuss digestive upset with my crush? Could this moment be any more humiliating?
“Definitely better,” I say, my voice squeaky.
He doesn’t look convinced. “You’re flushed. Do you have a fever?”
Oh, I’ve got a fever. Just not the kind he’s thinking. “I’m good. A little too much spicy salsa.”
His smile looks relieved. “I wanted to try this place based on your recommendation. Mexican is typically too heavy for me.” He pats his flat stomach. “I’ll have to hit the gym hard tomorrow.”
There’s a snort from across the table, which I ignore.
“I’m better,” I repeat, my voice steadier. “I know things were rough for me last week, but…”
