Page 11 of Someone to Tempt
“Are you going to make training with you for an ultramarathon part of Jodi’s job description?” Molly winks at me.
I’d tentatively mentioned participating in one of Colorado’s popular endurance races as my bucket list challenge. “She deserves that kind of torture, but no.”
I pull the book that has inspired all of this bucket list talk out of my bag. “On page one-thirty-four, Quinn says, ‘When we allow ourselves to embrace joy, laughter, and play, we recharge our minds and hearts. It makes us more resilient, creative, and open to life’s challenges. Fun isn’t a distraction. It’s a strategy for living boldly.’”
“She’s right,” Sloane murmurs.
“I hope so.” I close the book again. “Because for my bucket list challenge,” I announce with a flourish like I’m revealing the showcase showdown prize onThe Price is Right, “I’m going to have fun. And as my challenge, I am signing up for an ultramarathon.”
A mix of anticipation and nerves makes my heartbeat riot against my ribcage, and I scan my friends’ faces, waiting for the cheers or support I’d anticipated—well, hoped—they’d give me. Instead, an awkward silence greets my words, punctuated by only a few exchanged glances that sting worse than outright disapproval.
They don’t get it, and why should they? No one—not even Sloane—knows the depth of my hatred for that word.Fun.
Molly finally speaks, her cautious tone making me feel even smaller. “Are you sure a marathon counts as a fun challenge?”
“You guys don’t have to understand.” Heat rises up the back of my neck. “Or approve. I’m doing this for me.”
But that doesn’t stop the hollow ache from settling in my chest, a reminder that I’m always the one who doesn’t quite belong. Doing life wrong.
Why can’t I be like everyone else instead of the odd puzzle piece in a box full of perfect fits?
6
IRIS
“Dowe need to look up the definition of fun in the dictionary?” Avah grabs a handful of pretzels and pops one in her mouth as she narrows her eyes at me. “Because there’s no way in hell?—”
Molly elbows her. “Iris is right. Her challenge, her choice.” She offers me a gentle smile. “Tell us more about why a long-ass run feels fun to you.”
“Because it sounds awful AF.” Avah takes Molly’s arm when the redhead starts to elbow her again. “But also something you could handle with no issues. The challenges need to push us out of our comfort zone.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Like Sadie’s V-Card.”
“Training for a fifty-mile run will push me,” I insist. “And accomplishing that kind of task will be fun.”
“Debatable,” Taylor says with a shudder.
Molly makes a similar face. “As much as I hate to admit it, Avah’s right.”
“Is someone recording this moment?” Avah demands.
“An endurance event would show people that I’m resilient and dedicated. I don’t flake out once I commit. Doing hard things is fun.”
“Reread the quote,” Sloane tells me. “The part about joy, laughter, and play.”
I oblige, then close the book and thunk it against my forehead. “Why is fun so hard for me?”
If I’m being honest, I already know the answer. How many times as a kid did I beg my mom to give up the nomadic life she loved so much? To prioritize paying bills and keeping us in one place for an entire school year. Her derisive response was that I needed to loosen up and have fun. But her kind of fun meant disappointing the people counting on you. Joy and play meant damaging your kids because you only cared about yourself.
“Do people in town really think I want to kill fun?” I ask my friends.
“Kill is a strong word,” Molly answers.
Not precisely the fervent denial I’d hoped to hear. My gut tightens as I ask, “What do they think?”
“The bucket list challenge isn’t about other people,” Sloane offers.
“I want to know. Maybe I chose fun as my challenge because of what happened earlier, but I can’t be associated with the slogan ‘this is where fun comes to die.’” My gaze settles on Avah, the truth-teller of our group. “I can’t fix my reputation if I don’t know what it is.”
“People might have the impression you’re a little intense,” Avah says. The fact that she worded the criticism so mildly strongly suggests that hella-intense is more like it.
