Page 105 of Someone to Tempt
He inclines his head. “She raised her concerns to Daniel. Jake, you can’t run away when things get real. If that’s all this town means to you?—”
I should respond to his run-away remark, but one word fills my head. “Concerns?”
Did Iris purposely throw me under the bus? I wonder if this has something to do with last night. It was clear she felt betrayed by the fact that I hadn’t told her first about my writing, and while I’d understand, it’s hard for me to believe she’d channel that into this kind of retribution.
He lets out a slow breath. “You have a good career, son. One that means something to you and a lot of fans around the world. Maybe you should focus on?—”
“I want this, Grandpa. It’s why I’m here.”
“Yet you’re willing to leave at the drop of a hat.”
“You don’t get it.” I feel like a kid caught with my hand in the cookie jar. “Austin isn’t about me. It’s a better location. The connections and infrastructure?—”
“Running back to Austin isn’t going to fix your life, Jake. You need to stop running and figure it out for yourself.”
I can’t answer because his words slice across my chest, stealing my breath.
“So what next?” I manage after a few seconds.
He shakes his head. “I’ve said it before, you’re my greatest legacy. But the foundation belongs here, Jake. If you can’t see that...see what you’re throwing away by leaving, then maybe you should.”
He leans back, his expression softening. “I canceled the meeting this morning. Take the time you need, Jake. But if you decide to stay, you need to be prepared to stay for real.”
I flinch at the finality in his tone. “Thanks for the advice.”
He doesn’t respond, just goes back to his crossword.
I stalk back toward the apartment, then switch direction and climb in the truck, needing to get away.
Part of me thinks it would be easier to leave. Go back to Austin and not worry about messy emotions or complicated relationships or letting anyone down.
Would Iris care if I left? Or would it be more proof that I was never worth trusting in the first place? My chest aches as the truck speeds down the two-lane highway. Maybe she’s better off without me. Maybe they all are.
38
IRIS
I’munsure what to expect when I walk into the dance studio for our final rehearsal before the showcase. My mind and heart are still reeling from Jake’s revelation.
Sloane came over after she closed up the bookstore, absolutely sure Jake wanted to reveal his identity as the author of the Ellie Spaulding books in large part because he didn’t like deceiving me. But I’m still having trouble letting go of the fact that he did. Plus, the accusations he leveled at me—that I believe he isn’t anything more than his long-ago reputation—sting.
I don’t think it’s true. I don’t want it to be true. Was I patronizing him with my support?
It feels like all those times with my mother, when I believed she wanted something more than the affairs she engaged in over and over. I always believed she was changing—she’d be different, and our lives would be different. And my heart was crushed again and again when she’d make one choice after another that hurt Nick and me. Or destroyed my chances at keeping the friends I’d created in some new town. Or the future that I wanted.
I can’t help but think that if Jake truly cared about me, he would have told me before the rest of my book club found out. Would have trusted me with his most guarded and treasured secret.
I was always the last to know Mom’s secrets, and I vowed not to be so naively trusting as an adult.
But look at where that got me. I’m losing my job because of an affair, which is jeopardizing the chance to make Skylark my home.
So maybe this is about me and my penchant for self-sabotage. I’m so afraid of being hurt by someone that it’s easier to mess things up on my own.
Gloria gives me a questioning look as I walk in, and I offer a smile, hoping she won’t see beyond it. I still haven’t publicly announced my decision to withdraw from the mayor’s race, but I haven’t changed my mind about dropping out. Joey and I are scheduled to meet before the start of Fun Fest. It’s one thing to strive for happiness—it’s another to try to force it.
I can’t help the way my heart skips a beat as I see Jake follow Char out of her small office. I wish I didn’t have this kind of reaction to him. It would be easier if I hadn’t fallen in love with this infuriating contradiction of a man, but I did. I’m also genuinely proud of what he’s accomplished as Spencer Charles. He deserves the fame and accolades, and I hope he lets himself enjoy them now that his secret is out.
Char claps her hands as she always does to begin class, but gives me a funny look as a way of greeting that makes something uncomfortable twist in my stomach.
