Page 60 of Tell Me Again
CHAPTER TWELVE
She watched him for a couple of long moments, his gaze steady on her. It had been years since she’d accessed the identity she’d created to survive a world in which her face was a commodity.
That piece of her was a coping mechanism, a way to grieve the loss of the symbiotic and sometimes competitive relationship she’d had with her twin. She didn’t have an identity of her own, so she’d created one, then had quickly come to hate what people expected from her when she took on that role. Hated who she became.
In truth, she’d come to hate herself and that had been a big piece of why she’d worked so hard to reinvent her life. When she’d first come to Colorado, she’d feared what would happen if she allowed herself to forget the difference between real and make-believe. She might be taking on a role, but Sam had learned the hard way that the consequences of her actions were all too real.
But she was sick of pretending that side of her had been totally obliterated when she’d walked away from her old life. Power was a heady thing, and she’d learned to wield it like the sharpest sword in the king’s collection.
“I can’t be that person with you,” she said softly.
“Why?”
She swallowed. “Because you matter.”
Before he could answer, the waiter returned to the table. As he set down her wineglass, she looked up and he winked at her. He was young, handsome, and confident in his ability to charm the customers he served. She couldn’t mistake the invitation in his dark brown eyes as he lingered a moment, his fingers on the stem of the crystal glass.
Trevor cleared his throat and the waiter placed a bottle of beer and a chilled pint glass on the white tablecloth. Those couple seconds of distraction were all she needed to get into character.
“Is there anything else I can get you?” the waiter asked.
She allowed the sweater to slide off her shoulders, leaning forward a few inches. “What did you say your name was?” She tugged her lower lip between her teeth as she waited for an answer.
“Um...”
She flipped her hair behind her shoulders and traced one finger along the delicate bone at the base of her neck. “Yes?”
He cleared his throat, huffed out a nervous laugh. “I can’t remember right now.”
She smiled, not her real one, but a slight curve of her lips that told him she was both amused and intrigued by his innocence. “That’s okay, honey.” She pitched her voice low. “We’ll call you—”
“Done here,” Trevor growled.
The young waiter blinked as if he’d been woken from a trance.
With a sigh, Sam wrapped the ends of her sweater tight over the camisole. “Could you give us a few minutes to decide on an order?” She didn’t meet the waiter’s gaze.
“Sure,” he said quickly. “And it’s Mark. My name is Mark.”
She nodded and took a long drink of wine as he walked away.
“What the fuck just happened?” Trevor sounded as stunned as the waiter looked.
Her gaze slammed into his. “Aren’t you glad you asked to see that?” She leaned forward. She felt dirty and nauseated. At this moment she wanted him to loathe her as much as she’d once despised herself. “My superpower is seducing men. I learned it from my mother, but I took it to new levels. I didn’t know I could control the impulse, so for a long time it controlled me.” She took another slug of wine. “Bryce could do it, too, you know. Hell, of course you do. You are the best example of her particular talent.”
“That’s not how it happened,” he said quietly.
“Really? You guys went out for beer and wings one night and decided it would be a great idea to hook up? A little Netflix and chill action?”
He opened his mouth, shut it again. “What does watching TV have to do with anything?”
She groaned. “Get with the program, Trevor. You’re raising a teenage girl. Netflix and chill means a booty call. If any boy wants Grace to Netflix and chill, you keep them the hell away from her.”
“Why not just call it a damn hookup then?”
“Like you did with my sister?”
“I was in college,” he said through clenched teeth. “I was studying my ass off and working and—” He stopped and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck.”
