Page 53 of Tell Me Again
“It’s true.” She turned in his arms and forced herself to meet his gaze. “You were right. The women in my family are cursed. We hurt the people we care about.”
“That girl’s death is not your fault,” he insisted.
“It is. Just like Bryce’s was.”
“You can’t save all of them.”
“What if I can’t save any of them?” she asked, hearing the note of hysteria in her own voice. “I thought I was helping Whitney by bringing her here, but this is where she met Brandon. If they hadn’t—”
“You don’t know that.” Trevor brought one hand to her face, swiping his thumb over her cheek.
“I do,” she said, pounding her knuckles against her chest. “In here I do. Grace is amazing. She’s perfect and I’ll ruin her like I ruin everything.”
When he opened his mouth to protest, she put her fingers over his lips. “You know it’s true. You told me as much. It’s why you kept her from me in the first place. Your instincts were right about me.”
“No,” he whispered, his breath warm on her fingertips. “They weren’t.” He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and pulled her hand away from his face. “I blamed you for what Bryce did to me, and I let that anger color every decision I made. But for her it was always about hurting you.”
“She loved me because we were a part of each other and hated me for the reminder of what she could have been.”
Trevor drew in a breath. “It didn’t take her long to regret what she’d done. She admitted she never wanted a baby after she’d made the decision not to be a part of Grace’s life.”
“My sister had no maternal instincts,” Sam answered. “I’m surprised—”
“She didn’t end the pregnancy?” A muscle in his jaw worked as he said the words. “I’m guessing she would have if she hadn’t believed having my baby would affect you. I hoped something would change as the pregnancy progressed and the baby started moving. But nothing did.”
“Yet you were still willing to marry her?”
“I would have done anything to protect the baby. But I couldn’t stop my anger. She made me promise not to tell you, and I agreed. I wasn’t beholden to that promise after she was gone, and I should have reached out to you. You didn’t force her to be the person she was.”
“I was her twin,” Sam said. “I tried to get her into rehab... I tried to... but I could have done more to help.”
“Not if she wouldn’t take it.” He pulled her in for a gentle hug. “It’s the same with those kids. You can offer a helping hand but they have to be willing to reach for it. Your sister made her own mistakes. They weren’t yours.”
“I made enough of my own. The kind you don’t want Grace repeating.”
“She won’t,” he said firmly.
“How can you be sure?”
He gave a small laugh. “I’m not sure of anything when it comes to teenage girls, but I do know Grace has both of us looking out for her.”
How could he possibly say that to her knowing what he did? “I’d understand if—”
“You fought this hard to give the two of you a chance and now you’re going to give up on her?” He stepped away and she felt the loss of him like someone had stripped her bare and thrown her out into a blizzard. Without Trevor grounding her, she might as well be swinging in the wind. “I’ve thought a lot of things about you over the years, but never that you were a coward.”
Her head snapped back as if he’d slapped her. “I’m trying to do what’s best for—” She stopped, took a breath, and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. The truth was she was letting fear overwhelm her, and it clouded what she knew was right and what she wanted. But the thought that there might be even a kernel of truth to her doubts made her question every decision she’d made. “Of course I’m not giving up on her,” she whispered. “But I don’t want to hurt her, Trevor. I don’t want to hurt either of you.”
“Then don’t,” he answered simply. “You’re in control, Sam. The choice is yours.” He glanced at his watch. “I have to pick her up from volleyball practice. Are you going to be ok?”
She gave a small nod. “Thank you for staying with me.”
He moved closer and dropped a tender kiss on the top of her head. “I wouldn’t have wanted to be any other place.” He reached into his pocket and held out a granola bar to her. “This is for you.”
She took it, surprised when a small smile tugged up one corner of her mouth. “Why?”
“Ben and Ty thought the three of us were in the doghouse after you came into the kitchen.”
She rolled her eyes. “Standing around gossiping like a bunch of schoolgirls.”
