Page 18 of Tell Me Again
CHAPTER FIVE
Did you name it hollow because that’s how you felt inside?
Holy crap. Grace annihilated her with just a few words.
Sam stood next to Trevor, watching the girl on the camp’s snow-covered archery range. The question had been ringing in her ears like a church bell on Sunday morning. Sam had played it off because hiding how she felt was her superpower, but she...
Felt hollow.
She still felt hollow.
How was it that no one, not even Sam, had made the connection to the camp’s name before today?
“Nice shot,” she called when Grace launched an arrow that hit the target. The girl smiled and walked forward to retrieve her arrows.
“If it stays warm the snow will be melted in a few days,” Sam said. “Mud season is the worst up here. You probably already know that.”
When Trevor didn’t answer, she finally looked at him.
“You’ve done a good job with the camp,” he said quietly, maybe even reluctantly. “You should be proud of yourself.”
“I made a lot of money for someone with no education or talent,” she said, making her tone offhand and careless. Classic Sam Carlton. “Figured I should do something useful with it.”
Proudwasn’t the word for how she felt about her work at the camp.Penancewas more accurate. She was proud of her counselors and the clinical staff and how they helped the kids who came here. She was proud when she watched a teen overcome horrendous odds because they were determined to do better. Sometimes it felt like her biggest personal achievement had been opening her checkbook.
“Don’t sell yourself short.”
She darted a glance at Trevor, who was studying her with a look on his face that made her think he could read her mind. It was like he was privy to all the deep, dark places she hid. No one looked any deeper than the surface, so she’d gotten used to dealing in facades.
Trevor had always had the ability to draw back the curtain and see her true self. It had scared her when they were younger, and it was even more terrifying now. With a few words and a gentle look, he could make her believe that she was more than she knew herself to be. That despite all the scars and pain and ugliness of her past, she was lovable on the inside.
It was a belief that could ruin her.
“I know who I am, Trevor. We both do.”
“I wonder about that. You’re good with Grace. Now that you’ve stopped freaking out, anyway.”
She pushed his arm and, like the wall of muscle he was, he didn’t budge. “I don’t freak out.”
“Total freak-out mode earlier,” he muttered and nudged her back. “I appreciate that you didn’t throw me under the bus when you had the chance.” He waved to Grace when the girl lined up another shot.
“I don’t agree with what you did, but I understand it. You didn’t want me in your life. Why would you want me in hers?”
“You’re the one who left.”
Her mouth dropped open at the accusation in his tone. “I asked you to come with me,” she whispered. “I wanted you to—”
“Never mind,” he said, shaking his head. “The past doesn’t matter now.”
If only that were true, Sam thought. If only the past and the mistakes and the memories didn’t color every moment of her life.
“Who wants hot chocolate?” a voice called, and she turned to see Mary Henderson, the caretaker’s wife, standing on her front porch. The Hendersons lived in a small house near the archery range, which was on the far end of the camp’s cleared property. Sam owned over fifty acres, but much of it was forest they used for hiking trails and short backpacking trips for some of the older campers. The developed section consisted of the main cabin with the large rec room, dining hall, and kitchen. Surrounding that were girls’ and boys’ sleeping cabins, the counselors’ cabin, and the small cottage the clinical staff used as an office during the summer. Sam borrowed a desk there for her paperwork, but she’d never claimed it as hers.
A shed near the edge of the lake housed the kayaks and canoes they used during the summer, and beyond the cabins was an area under the trees with picnic tables and a wide clearing used for volleyball and tetherball. Down the path past the main camp was the archery range, and a ropes course sat at the edge of the trees.
David and Mary lived up here during the off-season then spent most of the summer visiting friends and family in their RV. It was the perfect arrangement, and Sam had come to think of the older couple as a surrogate family.
“Can we stay for hot chocolate?” Grace asked Trevor, walking toward them with the bow in her hand.
