Page 12 of Mr. Infuriating

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. You just missed meeting your soulmate by twenty minutes.”

I snorted when he set the beer in front of me. “Looks like I dodged a bullet.”

“I’m serious, man. I talked to her for like, forty-five minutes, and the whole time I was thinking how great you two would hit it off.”

Some matchmaking dust must be in the air tonight or something.

“Okay, I’ll bite. Why do you think we’d hit it off?”

He shrugged. “I can’t explain it. She just had the same energy as you. I could see you two getting along and talking all night.”

“Well, hate to break it to you, little brother, but I’m not really interested intalkingwith a woman all night, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, she was hot, too. In a naughty librarian kind of way. She teaches seventh grade.”

I tried not to choke on my beer.

“That’s just what I need—a date with Brayden’s teacher. Becky would hand me my balls on a paper plate.”

Derrick looked dejected when he replied, “Hadn’t thought of that. I just thought your kids would like her since she hangsout with middle schoolers all day and probably would know how to relate to them.” He seemed lost in thought as he pulled a ticket from the printer, set it in front of himself, and prepared a drink order. “Did I mention she’s hot? And really sweet.”

“I’m not looking for sweet.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot you like those dramatic, crazy bitches.”

“Nope. I divorced crazy and dramatic, and I like my freedom, thank you very much. I’m not looking for anyone who wants something more from me than one night.”

“You never know. That might be what she’s looking for, too. She was supposed to be meeting her friend, and I got the impression they were going on the prowl.”

“Where’d they go?”

“Her friend ended up working late, so I think she just went home. Good news is, they’re meeting here in two weeks to try again on a Friday night.”

That could actually work. Becky and I had switched weekends, so I had the kids two weekends in a row and would be available in two weeks.

I gave my brother a noncommittal grunt, and he continued his sales pitch.

“You should drop in, see what happens. No harm in meeting her if you both just happen to be sitting at the bar.”

“Yeah, maybe.” I glanced around the room, trying to determine if there was anyone worthy of “meeting” tonight while I was already there.

Derrick noticed me surveying the prospects, of which there were few.

“You’re too early, man. You gotta come in after eleven if you’re looking for a hookup.”

“After eleven?On a Thursday night? I’ll be home in bed, sound asleep by then. Some of us work all fucking day and are tired by ten.”

My little brother chuckled as he mixed alcohol and soda in a glass. “Maybe you should try a dating app for old people.”

“Fuck you. I’m thirty-nine.”

“You act like you’re seventy-two.”

I took another swig of beer and set the mug on the coaster with a sigh.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m seventy-two.”

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