Page 43 of Stealing Forever
But it’s too late to take it back, and as inappropriate as it feels to be asking my goddamn nanny these questions, I’m telling myself it’s not a big deal.
Hailey and I are friends, right? Kind of?
She focuses on rinsing Sailor's hair, gently leaning her back beneath the running water as she cradles her head, running her fingers through the strands with the other hand to remove the soap.
Her lack of response has me growing anxious with the need to know. My mind’s spiraling, and in the mere seconds of silence I’m envisioning a life with her—filling her and creating a child with her. Her stomach swollen as he or she grows. Us becoming parents,together.
I’ve always wanted more kids, and I need to know if she wants them, too.
Even if I can’t be with her, and I can’t because I’m not willing to jeopardize the relationship she has with Sailor, I can let myself pretend and soak in the moments of happiness the thought brings me, if only in my mind.
“Yeah, I do. I love children, it’s why I decided to go into the field of early childhood education. I love being around littles.” She turns the water off and helps Sailor sit upright in the bath again, hair clean. “What about you?” she asks quietly.
“Yeah, I do too.”
She glances at me again before helping Sailor from the bath, wrapping a plush white towel around her. We don’t exchange any more words, and I can see her focusing on Sail, so I quietly leave.
There’s a lump in my throat as I walk over to the sleeper sofa, deciding to busy myself by setting it up for Hailey to sleep on tonight.
Tossing the cushions near the desk, I realize she’ll need linens and walk back over to the small closet next to the bathroom. The girls aren’t in my line of sight, and although I’m not trying to eavesdrop as I grab a fitted sheet, pillow, and blanket, I can’t help it. I always listen when my daughter speaks.
“Can we go to the beach again tomorrow?” she asks with excitement.
“Probably not, sweet girl. We’ll be at the baseball stadium most of the day. Don’t you want to watch Daddy’s team play?”
“Yes! Can I get a hot dog, too? Daddy says I’m only allowed to eat them when I’m watching baseball.”
Hailey laughs. “He’s right. You shouldn’t eat too many hot dogs. You’ll get a tummy ache. Arms up.”
The rustle of fabric muffles Sailor’s grumble of disapproval.
“Guess who you get to meet tomorrow?” Hailey says with the same level of excitement as Sailor had over the beach.
“Who?”
“My sister!”
“You have a sister?”
“I sure do. She’s my twin. Do you know what a twin is?”
Her response is silence, and I rack my brain wondering if she would know what a twin is. I don’t remember ever explaining it to her, and I know for certain she’s never met anyone that was a twin.
“A twin is when a mommy has two babies in her tummy, and when you’re born, a brother or a sister is also born on the same day as you.” I can hear a hairbrush being run through Sailor's hair, and I am tempted to peek around the corner, but don’t. “Sometimes twins look the exact same, and sometimes they don’t. My sister and I don’t look the same, but we were bornjust a few minutes apart.” Her explanation is perfect, but why wouldn’t it be? She’s studied how to speak to children for years.
After a few seconds, Sailor asks, “What’s her name?”
“Her name is Hartley. And you know what? She can’t wait to meet you.”
With a smile on my face, I stop listening to their conversation and go back to the couch, ready to get it set up for Hailey. I put the linens on the desk, then take a quick look at the instructions sewn into the inside of the couch, and reach down to extend it.
Only to discover that the damn thing won’t pull out.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Goddammit,” Declan curses at the exact moment I steer Sailor out of the bathroom.
He’s wrestling the pull-out couch, wiggling the metal frame while he tugs. His grip is so tight that the veins in his forearm bulge while he fights against the resistance it’s giving him.
