CHAPTERSEVEN
My body reacted before my mind and I raced down the steps, chasing after her. The sound of my shoes slamming onto the sidewalk as I jogged after her echoed in my ears, along with my heartbeat. I was completely backpedaling on everything I just said, but I’d be damned if the sight of her walking away didn’t kill me. She wasn’t far ahead, but the head start I gave her before coming to my goddamn senses was enough to make me hustle to catch up.
“Isla, wait,” I yelled from behind her, but she either didn’t hear me or ignored me. Likely the latter. Not that I didn’t deserve it.
I caught up to her and thrust my arm forward, encircling my fingers around her bicep. She stopped instantly, spinning to face me. Malice laced tears pooled in her eyes, and I reached up to wipe a fallen tear with the pad of my thumb. She recoiled from my touch, and my heart sunk into the pits of my stomach. Still, I held my hand against her face, not wanting to let her go.
“No,” she said, her voice strong despite the quiver in her lower lip. She put her hands on my chest as if to push me away, but didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed, leaning my forehead against hers. An overwhelming weight of anguish sat on my chest. I rubbed my thumb against her cheek, my head spinning. I was so incredibly stupid.
Stupid to think I could let her go. Stupid to think I could keep her.
This would never work. I couldn’t pinpoint what changed for me so suddenly, but watching her walk away knowing she wouldn’t try again… I decided right then and there, losing her forever wasn’t a risk worth taking.
She shook her head, pulling away from my touch—away fromme—and took a step back. “No, Caleb. You don’t get to cut me down with your words then instantly change your mind. I heard you, okay? Loud and clear. Warm pussy. Easy lay. No strings. You drove your point home and nowI’mgoinghome.”
“Isla, please.”
“I’m not interested in anything else you have to say. It was interesting to meet you, Caleb. Have a nice life.”
Once again she began to turn away, but I caught her arm, sliding my hand down until my fingers laced with hers. She stared down at our connected hands with confusion, and I stared at her face, studying the rosiness of her cheeks and the fullness of her lashes. Different emotions danced across her face as we stood silent, connected but miles apart.
“I was an ass,” I started, still conflicted on if this was the right thing to do. “Isla, I have nothing to offer you. My life is a joke. I work a shitty job just to put food in my stomach, and I live at home with a man who’s been consistently drunk for the last thirteen years. I go to school to evade this life, but the truth is, I’ll never leave. Not when my two choices are to care for my dad or have his death on my hands. That’s what I’m looking at, Isla. I either stay or kill him because there will be no one to keep him from drinking himself to death. Why would I bring you into that life?”
Her brows laced together, and she raised her chin. “Did I propose to you, Caleb?”
Now it was my turn to be confused. “What?” I asked. “No? What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t propose, so this idea you have, thinking you’re locking me into a shitty life, is ridiculous. I never asked for commitment, Caleb. I literally only asked to get to know you. I like you. I don’t know why, especially after the way you’ve treated me, but I do. You make me feel something I’ve never felt, and it’s a feeling I’d like to explore. I’ve lived a sheltered, privileged life, but it’s not whoIam. I’m so much more than the girl you think you see. Spending time together and hanging out doesn’t equal wedding bells and my stomach swollen with your kid. It’s just two people, exploring a feeling and having a little fun for a while.”
“You think I’ll let you go? That once we’ve ‘had some fun’ I’ll say goodbye and we’ll go our separate ways?”
She threw her hands into the air, letting out an exasperated groan. “Haven’t you already? Is that not exactly what you did? Had your fun, then instantly pushed me away.”
“I’m trying to do what I think is best for you, Isla.” A low growl ricocheted through my body, hating that she was right.
“Why don’t you let me decide what’s best for me? This is the twenty-first century, is it not?”
A smirk pulled at the corner of my mouth and I reached up to brush away the hair that’d fallen into my eyes. “You're sexy when you’re standing up for yourself.”
“Yeah? Well, you’re still an ass even when you apologize.” Her eyes drifted back down to where our hands were still connected and she loosened her fingers, attempting to unlock our hold on one another, but I tightened my grip, not letting her walk away.
“Want to get something to eat?” I asked quietly. My confidence was starting to wane, unsure of what her next move may be. I waited with bated breath as her eyes bounced to mine.
She shook her head no. My heart sank, and I dropped my head, feeling defeated, although I knew I had no jurisdiction to feel that way. I had burned my bridge with her, and in the moments it took me to come to my senses, she had also come to hers, realizing I wasn’t worth it.
The realization stung, and I released her hand quickly, as though it had burned me.
She read my features like an open book written in large font. Smiling, she rolled her eyes at me. “I don’t want to get something to eat, because you just bought me a huge bag of groceries. Do you want to come to my place and I’ll make you something?”
I beamed at her, my chest inflating with excitement. A giant, dopey smile overtook my face, and I practically felt my stomach rumble on the spot. “You cook?”
“Not very well… I was hoping you had an unrevealed talent of mastery in the kitchen.”
I tipped my head back and hearty, genuine laughter erupted from my chest. I shook my head. “No, Starlight, I don’t cook, but we can figure it out together.”
Bending over, I picked up the two bags of groceries and cradled them in my arms before tipping my chin at her. “Lead the way.”