We should have both been celebrating that I had agreed to commit to him, yet somehow, in Noah’s mind, thatstillwasn’t good enough. Him doubting my decision, as if I wasn’t allowed to suddenly want to commit, was a hard pill to swallow. I would never admit it to him, but he almost knew me better than I knew myself. A small part of me questioned my own judgement, and to some degree, he was right. I had flip-flopped my mind several times in the last two weeks, and though I had sat on this for a couple of days, deep down, I still wasn’t fully ready to be in another relationship.

But I couldn’t lose him. I just couldn’t. Aside from Jordan, he was the most important man in my life, and I could feel myself falling deeper for him despite trying so hard not to. And now he was leaving for three months. Or more.

Noah led us into the house, slamming the door behind him with the heel of his boot before continuing down the dim hallway toward his bedroom. Our tongues danced together wildly as he stole the breath from my lungs and deepened the kiss. The loud bang of the door momentarily startled me as he kicked yet another door shut before tossing me onto his bed.

Propping myself up by the elbows, I looked everywhere around the room but at him. A single dresser lined the wall with a flatscreen T.V. mounted above it. In the corner by the door was a small chair and a table. A book lay open and face down on the arm of the chair as if he couldn’t find a bookmark, so he allowed the chair to do the job. Nightstands stood on each side of the bed, although one was unoccupied. It was the first time I had been in his bedroom. Would it be the last?

The pang in my chest straddled the line between desire and sadness as more tears pooled in my eyes. I squeezed my lids shut, silently begging myself to get it together. When I opened them, Noah gazed down at me with a mixture of remorse and lust coating his features.

“Tell me you’ll be here when I get back, Lils,” he murmured, trepidation thick in his voice. He was asking me to wait for him, and there was no hesitation before I nodded my head.

“I’ll be here,” I whispered. I would wait for him, and while I waited, I would work onmyself.

The fear in his milk chocolate irises dissipated and my chest swelled at the sight of them glittering with hunger. It was a level of desire that I hadn’t seen on him before and it had my pulse quickening both in my chest and between my legs.

“I’m going to make love to you, Lily, and you’re just going to have to deal with that.” He smirked as he peeled off his shirt, allowing me a full view of his upper body. His biceps flexed when the shirt swept over his head. “And after I make love to you, I’ll spend the rest of the night fucking you roughly, just like I know you want it. You like when I’m rough, don’t you, Flower?”

I nodded, practically salivating at the sight of him. It was like a switch inside of me flipped and all I could think about was being this man’severything. Gone were my fears, along with every hesitation I had ever had. My tongue darted out to wet my lips that had gone suddenly dry with anticipation.

His eyes never left mine as he unhooked his belt buckle and the button on his pants. He toed off his boots and socks before pulling down his jeans, letting them drop to his feet before he stepped away from them. Standing in front of me wearing nothing but his gray boxer briefs, I couldn’t help my eyes from wandering down to his erection that tented them.

When I worked my way back up his body and to his face, a new wave of desire ignited throughout my entire body. Noah hooked his thumb in the waistband of his briefs and tugged them down, smirking at me again as he did. My thighs clenched when his cock sprang free. A bead of moisture leaked from the tip and I had to force myself not to moan at the sight of it. I watched as he took himself in his hand, pumping himself shamelessly from base to tip.

“Are you mine, Lily?” he rasped, pumping himself once more.

I nodded my head in agreement—I was his, and I was ready to admit that, and I was ready for so much more.

“Say it,” he commanded, crawling over to me. He settled between my thighs and pressed his hips into me, our bodies perfectly aligned, although my clothes were still a barrier between us. Flattening myself against his bed, my blonde curls curtained the soft cotton of the pillowcase and I let my fingers glide up the soft comforter, shifting closer to his body.

“I’m yours,” I whispered, reaching up to trail the outline of his muscles with my fingertips. Noah awarded me with a slight shiver.

“Say itlouder.”

“I’m yours, Noah. Yours.”

Capturing my lips again, he kissed me like he already missed me. I tried to focus on the present, although my heart was threatening to shatter into a million pieces all over again. While our lips melted together, I could feel the roughness of his fingertips as he trailed up to the hemline of my dress, pulling it higher up my legs. When it reached my hips, I froze. The thought of him seeing me completely naked and seeing my full body had me feeling less than confident.

“Noah, stop,” I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper thanks to the nerves that had plagued my mind. I pulled the fabric of my dress back down. “It’s too bright in here. I… I don’t want you to see—”

“Lily, your body is fucking perfection. There isn’t a single part of it I don’t already adore.” He kissed me roughly, kneading my breast in his hand and groaning, before he pulled back to look at me again. “Your body gave life, and one day I hope it will give me children, too. So close that pretty mouth of yours and let me just fuckingworshipyou.”

Something incoherent tumbled past my lips, and I watched through half hooded eyes as Noah pulled the dress from my body and over my head, tossing it to the floor. I could feel wetness gather in my panties and squirmed against Noah’s harness, which did nothing but make me more wanton.

Noah’s tongue found the valley between my breasts and sucked roughly on my soft skin, grabbing my breasts mercilessly as he did. When his mouth connected with my nipple, my thoughts snapped out of the lustful fog and back to reality. I pulled at his hair, forcing his eyes to mine. “Noah, I’m… please don’t suck my nipples. It does nothing for me. They… they’re desensitized. I don’t feel anything, and I don’t like it.” My cheeks reddened as he pulled away from them, following my lead.

His eyes narrowed, taking in my embarrassment. “Lily, don’t you ever be embarrassed to tell me the things you do or don’t like in the bedroom. Especially if something makes you uncomfortable. I will always stop when you ask me to.”

“Okay,” I whispered, looking away again. He grabbed my chin roughly, forcing me back to him.

“Is it just having your nipples sucked, or does all nipple play make you uncomfortable?” he asked, genuinely wanting to know.

I wish I knew myself.

“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly, “I haven’t really had anyone do anything other than suck on them.”

Noah smirked and reached out, rolling my right nipple between his thumb and pointer finger.

I scrunched my nose slightly. It didn’t feel bad, but it didn’t feel good, either. Gauging my reaction, he increased his pressure, rolling and pinching it tighter. I was about to tell him to just forget it, when he pinched, rolled, and tugged, and a suddenly moan fell from my lips.