Page 23 of Wicked Games We Play

“Whatever happened to courtship? Do you really think this is the way to win me over?”

Lily’s words floated through my mind while I sat in my unmarked vehicle, watching her through the window of the restaurant. She looked disappointed as she sipped her tea, flipping her phone over periodically to check if Oliver had messaged her, I assumed. It was now forty-five minutes past when he was supposed to show up, and she had to know by now he wasn’t coming.

“You have to make her jealous.”

I scratched at my beard as Rosie demanded attention in my mind, remembering our conversation at the bar a while back. She thought making Lily jealous would be the answer to getting her to finally commit to me, but I still wasn’t so sure. What if showing her a softer side of me was really the answer? She knew both sides of me when I was young, but throughout our adulthood, I had kept one side guarded. It wasn’t a side I frequently showed to anyone, but maybe she deserved to see it. I had given her that part of me before, and she had tossed it aside. But what if…

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I clicked our text chat and typed out a message, pressing send before I regretted it.

Me: I’m sorry for earlier.

Four little simple words left a lump in my throat.

I wasn’t entirely sorry.

I was sorry that I had pissed her off, but I wasn’t sorry that I riled her up, inserted myself into her thoughts, and sabotaged her date.

She wasmine.

My eyes shifted from the phone and connected with her blurred figure through the restaurant window. I couldn’t see much, but I could make out the glow from her phone illuminating her face. It showed dimly through the tinted glass and made my heart twist knowing she was reading what I wrote. Would she tell me that her date hadn’t shown up?

The glow on her face disappeared, so I glanced down at my phone, expecting a reply. There was nothing, and I stared at the screen, mildly shocked that she hadn’t engaged. Raking my hand down my face in frustration, I knew I needed to get out of there, so I tossed my phone aside and drove away before I did something I actually might regret, like going in there and demanding her attention.

No sooner had I started driving did a call come over the radio requesting all available units for a possible suspect on scene. Nothing like a suspected homicide to redirect your thoughts.

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

There are some things you hope to go a lifetime without seeing, and those you know will be inevitable. In my line of work, I learned quickly that in order to succeed in your career, you had to grow a strong sense of awareness, a thick skin, and a tough stomach. Yet, some crime scenes are still unbearable to witness and those are the ones that fuck me up the most. They’re the reason there’s nights we all go for a drink.

I learned at a young age to do the best I could to not bring work home with me, although often that was easier said than done. When I arrive at home, the only face to greet me is my boxer, Wexley, but I swear he knows exactly when I’ve had a rough night.

Like tonight. Today? Tomorrow.

Who fucking knows? It’s past three in the morning and the only thing I’m sure of is the exhaustion that has settled into my bones and the fact that I will never unsee the things that I saw tonight. Lily’s sabotaged date and her lack of response to my apology lingered in the back of my mind, but I forced them away as I stepped into the shower, letting the events of the day slide down the drain with the dirty water.

When I finally crawled into bed, my head hit the pillow hard and no sooner did I settle in, so did the guilt. I had fucked up Lily’s date today for no reason other than I was selfish. Why couldn’t she just admit that what she feels for me is as strong as what I feel for her? Iknowshe feels it. She was made for me and me alone. I had spent years trying to purge her from my system and came up short every single time. Not a single woman had ever measured up to the way she had made me feel back when we were teenagers.

Back then, I was a pussy. My best friend was a girl, and although what was between her legs didn’t bother me one bit, the boys at school ruthlessly teased me for it throughout grade school. Kids can be vicious. Having a girl as a best friend somehow called my sexuality into question and until I was older, I lacked the backbone to defend myself. Instead, I put myself into a bubble with Elle and we did life together as a team. It wasn’t until entering high school that I could feel myself growing, not only physically but mentally too. It was a time to reinvent myself. Be the person who I wanted to be. I started working out and giving a shit about what I looked like. Elle remained my best friend, but I also got acquainted with the rest of the female population on campus.

While Elle preferred to stay in on the weekends, I snuck out and partied my way through the grades.

It quickly got to where the girls sought me out at parties. I had a certain… quiet… reputation. Fucking everything with a pulse wasn’t my style. I was selective, and let’s just say that the girls I spent my nights with were left with their thirst thoroughly quenched.

But mine weren’t.

Not to say that I didn’t enjoy myself too, but every single girl lacked what I needed on a different level. A deeper level.

Every girl before Lily.

It wasn’t like we’d never met before, but we hadn’t exchanged more than two words with each other until the party at Damien Wheeler’s house.

While the party raged inside, we both found ourselves outside in the bitter cold with our feet dangling in the heated pool, talking about anything and everything. I felt the spark instantly, and I knew she did too. When I reached over and laced my fingers with hers, I caught the way her breath hitched at our touch. She knew my reputation, and I knew she had a boyfriend, but at the end of the night, when she reached for my phone and saved her number under my contacts, there was no way I was going to waste the opportunity handed to me.

We spoke every day and night for three and a half months, and stole every moment we could to see each other, but crossed no lines physically. Not when she had a boyfriend. She wasn’t that kind of girl and even as a horny teenager, I respected her like hell because of it. When we really first started talking and hanging out, she asked me not to kiss her until she broke up with her boyfriend. She had felt the rift between them, but stayed with him because it was his last year of football and he was under a lot of pressure from the coaches to lead the school to victory. He had the chance to get scouted. She felt like she couldn’t break up with him when he already had so much on his plate.

Begrudgingly, I agreed and promised to not make a move until she was officially single. What were a few weeks in the grand scheme of things? I wanted her. My mind was already made up. I was hers and she was mine. Or would be soon.

I didn’t so much as talk to or touch another female the entire time. And I thought she had stopped being physical with him, too.

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