Page 2 of Wicked Games We Play
For ten long years, we stayed married, being each other’s best friend and confidant, creating a beautiful life together. But that’s all it was: friendship, partnership, roommates. Sure, we had sex somewhat regularly to soothe the need, but the passion that I craved from him never reignited between us. I struggled with my feelings for years before I finally admitted them to him. It was like something inside of me snapped that night. I could see the look in his eyes, the guilt because he had never let go of his longing for his one that got away, and if I were being honest with myself, neither had I.
Noah was my one that got away, but he was also the one that I was hesitant to let back in. I had caught a glimpse of who he was when we were both still in high school—temperamental, dominant, possessive, and authoritative—and although I love to read about those sexy alpha males in my spicy books, the idea of having a man like that in real life was daunting.
Keeping him at arm’s length was always what I intended to do, but he had somehow crawled under my skin the night I ran into him at the local watering hole, Andromeda. The memory from that night is still one that I get myself off to more than I care to admit.
It was a girls’ night out and my other half, Alana, wanted to check out one of the newer bars in town. Jordan was with his dad, so I figured, why not? I threw on my Spanx before slipping into my new bodycon dress. Self-doubt had washed over me as I turned side to side in the mirror, assessing my figure.
It’d been over ten years since Jordan was born, and my body still made me self-conscious. I’m proud of my body and the tiger stripes that now adorned my stomach and thighs, but some days I couldn’t fight the chokehold that my low self-esteem held me in, telling me I was too curvy and too fat. The logical side of my brain knew that just wasn’t true, that my body was uniquely mine and beautiful regardless, but the insecurities crept in like a motherfucker sometimes.
I ended up deciding against the bodycon, pulling it down and letting it pool at my feet while I stood in the middle of my closet, my eyes raking across the options. I selected a different dress, pulling it off the hanger instead.
The dress was beautiful, a white lace spaghetti strap that dipped low and gave me ample cleavage but flared to a loose sundress type fit just above the waistline. Beneath the lace was a nude underlay that clung to my body in a way that I wouldn’t have to worry if the wind picked up unexpectedly. Shoes were always the hardest with this dress, so I settled for a pair of strappy sandals. It was too casual for where we were going, but I also didn’t care. It had been an unseasonably hot spring and I could wear what I wanted. Plus, it hid my mom body, and I felt better knowing I’d be comfortable.
Mistake number one had been trying on that stupid bodycon dress and how I felt after, forcing myself to pick a different dress and get myself ready for the night. It should have been my first clue to just stay home and enjoy some self-care, but no, I had continued on with my plans despite my downward self-confidence spiral.
Mistake number two had been him. I should have never let him do what he did that night, and it had been a domino effect ever since.
* * *
My body tingledas I felt eyes on me from across the bar. I looked around in bewilderment, wondering who I could be so acutely aware of, feeling my stomach flip with the idea of seeing him. We had been talking for weeks, but I was purposely keeping him at arm’s length. My divorce was still too fresh. I wasn’t ready for the door that I knew would open when I finally saw him.
There was no way he would be here tonight, but as my eyes swept the room, I knew that my gut was typically never wrong. I sucked in a sharp breath when I connected with the brightest pair of milk chocolate eyes. He wore a devious smirk as his eyes raked over my entire body, lingering slightly on my chest.
Noah was stunning. Dark brown hair that was cut short on the sides but left slightly longer on top, a trim beard covering his ruggedly handsome features. Just call me Beth Dutton, because there was a sexier version of Rip staring right at me.
He wore a black button down that was cuffed at the elbows and dark wash jeans, looking like sex and sin. I pulled my lower lip in by my teeth as I stood frozen in place, openly fantasizing over the demigod less than twenty feet away from me.
Every nerve ending in my body jolted to life as he made his way through the crowd and toward me, stopping toe to toe. He spared no second, gripping the back of my head and pulling me in roughly, his mouth crashing into mine. The air escaped my lungs and forced my mouth to open against his. He stole my breath as his tongue found mine, locking me in a punishing, dirty kiss. His grip tightened in my hair, the nip of pain mixed with pleasure he was awakening with his kiss.
He pulled me back by the hair, keeping my head close and rubbing his nose along mine.
“Hey, Lils.” He chuckled darkly, leaning his forehead against mine.
I gripped the back of his neck, crashing my lips back to his. Years of hidden feelings came rushing to the surface as I held onto him for dear life, pouring every pent-up bit of longing and lust into the kiss as I could. Noah lifted me by the back of my thighs, and I wrapped my legs around his body as his hands slid to my backside. He walked with me in his arms and, in that moment, I didn’t care where we were heading. I only knew that this man would wreck me if I allowed him to. He had already begun peeling back my layers through his kiss.
He settled us against the wall of a dimly lit hallway, and I took a moment to break the kiss, taking in my surroundings. The music from the bar carried into the space, but we were completely alone.
“How did you know I would be here tonight?” I asked, turning my attention back to him. He was licking his way up my neck, and I squirmed in his hold.
“I didn’t. Right place, right time.” He continued nipping at my neck as his fingers bit into my thighs. Placing me on my feet, he pulled back, looking at me in the eyes. “I’ve waited so long to taste you.”
“So taste me. Let me taste you.” I moved to capture his lips and traced my tongue along his bottom lip, snaring him in a slower kiss.
His hand trailed along my side before he moved it back to my hair, circling my blonde curls around his fist. We kissed for several minutes, making out like teenagers who had snuck off between classes. The feeling brought me back to high school, making me long for the kiss I never got from him back then. A noise sounding like a cross between a moan and a whimper escaped me, my heart aching for the missed opportunities of the past. He pulled away, searching my eyes for the source of the sudden sadness.
“We have the rest of our lives to make up for lost time, Lils.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t ready for that.
“No, it’s too soon. I’ve told you that, Noah. I need time on my own.”
His eyes darkened, and he hesitated before grabbing onto the hem of my dress.
“Fine, but let me at least taste you now,” he growled, dropping to his knees in front of me. My breathing hitched as he lifted the lace of my dress and I realized what he was doing. He bunched the lace up and forced my hand to wrap around it, holding it up as he slid the underlay up my body. I watched his brows come together in confusion when he was met by the unattractive nude layer of my Spanx. “What the fuck are these?”
I laughed, watching him as he reached into his back pocket. My eyes widened when he pulled a pocketknife out, exposing the sharp blade with the flick of his wrist.
“Stay still.”
