Page 116 of Whatever Lola Wants

“You do not,” she finally managed.

“Yeah, I do.” He smiled down at her, his eyes swimming with emotion. “I love you.”

“Why are you telling me this?” she whispered, her throat thick with tears. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“Yeah, it does.” His hand hovered at her cheek for a moment, then dropped to the bed. “For me, anyway. I guess you have to decide if it changes anything for you.”

She shook her head. “You want a submissive,” she reminded him. “Someone who needs you, remember?” Her voice took on a bitter edge when she remembered all the ways she needed him, and how they weren’t enough.

“You need me,” he said softly. His eyes were steady on hers, the deep gold color clear and bright. “You need me to take care of you when you get hurt, to hold you when you have nightmares. You need me to laugh with, to make love with, to sleep and wake up with. To tell you when you screwed up, and to help you make it right. To take you to ballgames, and argue with you over which movies to watch.”

Her eyes blurred with tears as she heard her own words, the ones that had spilled from her broken heart. He reached out then with gentle fingers to brush them away. “You need me to dry your tears when I’ve been an ass.”

She blinked her vision clear, wanting to see his face. Wanting to believe, afraid to hope. “I’m not a submissive. I can’t be in a D/s relationship, and that’s what you want.”

He shook his head, his hand warm on her face. “I thought I did. I thought I should. But it turns out, what I want is you.”

He stroked her bottom lip with his thumb, stilling its trembling. “Grant asked me the other day why I thought someone else would make me happier than you do. And I didn’t have an answer for him. Because the truth is, I’ve been happier with you than I’ve ever been with anyone else.”

She struggled with hope. “What about the D/s?”

“It turns out it’s not that important.” He laid a finger over her lips when she started to speak. “Hear me out. I thought it was. I was sure it was. But when you think about it, we have a fair amount of D/s in our play. It just doesn’t look like I thought it would.”

“That’s true,” she said slowly.

Then he grinned at her. “You’ve even given me permission to punish you when you screw up.”

The urge to laugh took her by surprise. “That was just for that one time.”

He shook his head. “Nope. I understood that to be a blanket authorization, covering any and all infractions from that point on.”

His gaze softened, becoming so unbearably tender her breath caught in her throat. “I can live without a full time dominant/submissive relationship, Lola. Quite happily, it turns out. What I can’t live without is you.”

“Oh, damn,” she whispered. “That was a good one.”

“I love you, Lola.” He bent to brush her lips with his gently. “Are you going to give me another chance?”

“I shouldn’t,” she managed, blinking back tears. “It sets a very dangerous precedent to reward this kind of high-handed behavior.” She jerked her chin to indicate her bound form.

A glimmer of a grin hovered around his mouth. “You like it.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I’d have kicked your balls into your throat given half a chance.”

He chuckled, eyes sparkling. “I know. Should make life interesting.”

She scowled at his grin, then sighed. “Dammit. I love you.”

Shock showed in his eyes first, then a tentative joy that made her eyes tear up again. “You do?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Fuck.” He closed his eyes briefly, relief and exhilaration stamped on his features, then opened them to look at her with shining eyes. “If I try to kiss you, are you going to bite me again?”

She laughed, her eyes going to his open shirt, and the dried blood on his chest. The bite was beginning to bruise, which she found both highly satisfying and delightfully arousing. “No. Are you going to untie me?”

His eyes gleamed, and he lowered himself onto her. She inhaled sharply as his heavy erection settled into the notch of her spread legs through their clothes. “No,” he replied. “I like you like this.”

“Pervert,” she accused breathlessly, arching up into the press of his body. She’d missed him so much.

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