Page 47 of Love Beyond Words
“First correction: People rarely grow without trying. Change requires effort and you’ve been at a standstill for quite some time.”
As I opened my mouth to argue, she threw up a second finger.
“Second: Don’t be stupid, Laurel. Morna could’ve sent Marcus back here on his own. If she really cared about your writing inspiration, sending you the book and having us stumble across the documentary would’ve been more than enough. If it wasn’t time for something to change in your life, she wouldn’t have sent you back here.”
“But…”
“No.” She held up finger number three. “Three: Even if you don’t feel ready, I suggest you get that way real quick. Do you really think that men like Raudrich come around every day? You’ve been on enough dates lately. You know that they don’t. He read you like an open book, Laurel. He was able to get right to the bottom of your issues after spending three hours with you. Issues that you’ve become an expert on burying.”
I knew she was right. I just didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t know how to change. I didn’t know how to start trying again.
“Okay, Kate, I get it. Something’s got to give, but how? What do I do?”
She shrugged and I frowned. I didn’t want her to give me some look-inside bullshit, I wanted direction. I needed to know how to make a shift.
“Laurel, I’m no expert either, but just try doing things differently. Don’t fall into the same traps you usually do with men. If Raudrich tells you something, believe him. You can see that he likes you. Don’t question it so much. Stop doubting how beautiful you are. How about this?”
She hesitated and lifted herself to her knees. She looked beyond excited at whatever revelation had just come to her.
“How do you write your characters, Laurel? They’re confident and sassy. They do what they like and say what they want. They don’t rail against their own happiness because they believe that they are deserving of it, right? They’re different from you, but if you were really honest with yourself, I think you’d find that they’re all a part of you, too. I have a theory. I think those characters, those heroines in your stories, they’re really just all of the parts of you that you keep locked away. How about, just for a little while, just while you’re here, you let them out to play for a bit. Pretend you’re them. It may just show you who you really are.”
It was an interesting thought, but before I could say so, Kate disappeared. I blinked once and opened my eyes to find that Morna now occupied the same spot Kate had just vanished from.
“I thought perhaps ye might be more open to hearing from Kate since I suspect ye and Marcus are still a wee bit upset with me.”
I frowned. Seeing Kate made me miss her. After so many months being around her day and night, I wasn’t accustomed to being away from her.
“So all of that was really you? Why am I not surprised? Raudrich was right then? You did lie to me?”
Morna nodded and smiled unapologetically. “Aye, lass. I wasna sure if ye would embark upon the travel back if I told ye the truth. Though, at the time, I dinna know that I was going to have to spell ye back against yer will. I regret how angry Marcus is with me.”
I shrugged. I couldn’t find it in me to be angry with her. Evil faerie and cursed castle aside, I was enjoying myself. I’d lived more in the last three days than in the past three years.
“Marcus is trying to make the best of it. Although, I have a feeling that after what I tell him tomorrow, that’s going to be more difficult for him to do.”
Morna sighed and I could see that I was right.
“Aye, he willna take the news well. Not for some time, I expect. Ye must allow him to work through it in his own way. Doona take it personally if he pushes ye away.”
That didn’t worry me in the least. Marcus wasn’t like me. He didn’t push people away. He talked things out. He was more of a grown-up than I imagined I would ever be. He wouldn’t do to me what I’d done to him after our last trip to Scotland.
“Marcus isn’t like that. He’ll be upset, but not with me.”
“Whatever ye say, lass. I must go now. ’Tis time for ye to wake. Marcus is standing outside yer door. ’Tis time for ye to tell him the truth.”
With my next breath, my eyes opened.
Why were my dreams in this castle so flipping weird?
Chapter 28
“Laurel, are you up? If not, wake up and let me in before everybody else wakes up. I am freaking out. The door’s bolted. Let me in.”
Slipping back into my dress—I’d dared to sleep naked again—I walked over to the door and unlatched the bolt Raudrich had magically placed there.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
He was covered in sweat.
