Page 40 of Our Moon
“Growing up without my dad, and with my mom the way that she was, I never really had anything constant in my life. The moon was my constant. When my mom would have one of her parties, I’d always sneak out to the fire escape of the apartment and stare up at the moon. It would always be there, you know? My dad wasn’t there. My mom was there, but she wasn’t there for me. So I guess I latched onto the one thing I knew would always be there.”
I’m not sure why I shared all that with her. She’s quiet now and when I look over at her, it looks like she has tears in her eyes. “What is it, baby girl?”
She smiles at the name, “I’m just so sad for you, Chase. What you must have gone through. I can’t even imagine. It just makes me appreciate my parents that much more. I’m sorry if that sounds callous.”
“It’s not callous. I feel the same way. I mean how I appreciate your parents. I don’t know how much they know about my mom, but they know enough to treat me like one of their own kids without me having to say anything. They’re awesome people.”
“They are,” she agrees.
I lean back in my chair, looking up to the sky again.
“This is nice,” Ally says after a minute.
“What is?” I ask, thinking that this entire evening, hell, this entire week, has been a lot more than nice.
“This,” she says, using her hand to gesture between us. “Talking and all. I mean, we text all the time and now we’re sitting here and we can say whatever we want. So, what’s next?” she laughs, turning to me with a playful look. “The weather?”
“Itwasa nice day today,” I say with a straight face and she laughs. “So whatdoyou want to talk about?” I ask her.
“I don’t know.Notthe weather.”
“Your senior year is almost over,” I offer.
She sighs, “Yeah.”
“Are you not happy about that?”
“No, I am,” she says.
“Then what is it?”
“When we talk about school, it just reminds me of our age difference is all.”
That is a problem. Isn’t it?Yes, Chase, you’re four years older than her. The age difference is an issue.
“Nothing could ever happen,” she says quietly, sadly.
Part of me is jumping up and down at the fact that she would want something to happen between us. But the other part of me is just as upset as she is that we will never be able to explore whatever this is between us.
“It’s for the best,” I say, and I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince myself or her.
“It’s just bullshit, though, isn’t it?” She stands up and begins to pace. “If we were ten years older, four years wouldn’t be an issue. It’s because I’m seventeen. It’s because I’m not even legal yet that it’s a problem.”
Actually, the legal age of consent in North Carolina is sixteen, but I’m not about to let her know that I know that. Or why I know that. No, I was not doing Internet research to see if I would get put in jail for flirting with her over texts. Not. At. All.
She went on. “It shouldn’t matter. Age shouldn’t matter. I mean, it doesn’t matter, does it? We all hang out all the time, and we’re all equals. No one pays attention to our age difference when we hang out together as a group.”
I stand up and block her path. Putting my hands on her shoulder, I say, “Ally, take a breath.”
“I really like you, Chase.” And I swear my heart skips a beat.
“I really like you, too, Ally.” She licks her lips, and my eyes dart down to them.
“It’s not fair,” she sniffs.
I look back up to her eyes, and they’re filled with tears. “Oh, baby girl, don’t cry.” I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on her head.
“Chase, I know there are consequences…” she trails off.
