Page 1 of Simply Irresistible
1
Tyler
“So I told her, ‘Let me go get you a cape, then you can besuper angry.’” I paused for added dramatic effect. “She slapped me.”
“You’re so charming,” Hannah said, wiping the corner of her mouth with a napkin. “Oh! That’s why you had that black eye!”
“No,thatwas from when I fell up the stairs on my way home from the bar. You’re giving Nicole way too much credit.”
“Tyler,” Hannah sighed, and I waited for it. I waited for that inevitable moment in the lives of all single people when a coupled-up friend, relative, coworker, or complete stranger told you how unfortunate it was that you’re still single, and how insane you must be that you couldn’t make a relationship work.You know what I mean.
I tuned my sister out, having heard this spiel before, and took in the sights and sounds around me. Central Park was bustling at lunch time, as usual. Businessmen and women in their power suits speed walked down the dirt path on their way to some place important, parents held their children’s hands as they made their way from one museum to another, and tourists with actual fanny packs snapped pictures left and right. Hannah and I were taking up prime real estate on a bench while we ate the turkey on wheat sandwiches. She painstakingly made our lunch (insert eyeroll) this morning after kissing her gazillionaire husband goodbye in their Park Avenue apartment. My older sister hit the jackpot, quite literally, back in the fifth grade when she met and fell in love with her now husband, Preston. Yes, they met and fell in love when they were ten. It was sickening...twenty years with just one person by age 30.Blech. I’ll pass.
I looked across the expanse of green grass dotted with people and picnic blankets. There were some sunbathers scattered here and there, and I tried not to let my gaze linger too long on one particularly skimpy red and white polka dot bikini about thirty feet to my left.Summer in New York City, I mused to myself. Always something to look at…appreciate.
“Are you even listening to me?” Hannah asked, bringing me back to the present.
“No,” I answered truthfully. She narrowed her eyes at me, and I swore I saw steam come out of her ears.Here we go.
“I just don’t get it, Tyler. You’re an attractive guy; you should have a steady girlfriend by now.”
“It’s not my fault all the women in Manhattan are crazy.”
She rolled her eyes. “Allthe women in Manhattan arenotcrazy.”
“Explain Marilyn to me then.”
“I never saidshewasn’t crazy.”
Marilyn was a waitress at a beer garden I used to frequent with some friends back in college. I dated her for about two weeks, and she was a wildcat. Things with Marilyn were hot. Then one Friday night, instead of going to the beer garden, my buddies decided to go to a pub in midtown, and she blew up my phone. I had eighty-seven missed calls, thirty-five voicemails, and two hundred and forty-six text messages. That all happened over the course of three hours. Needless to say, I broke up with her.
“Rose?” I asked, taking a bite of my sandwich.
“Rose wasn’t crazy.”
“She wasn’t?” I looked up at the cloudless sky, trying to remember why I broke up with Rose.
“No, she dumped you when you told her you knew you liked her because you missed her even when you weren’t horny.”
I laughed. That was absolutely correct, I remembered it clearly. Ihadliked Rose for more than just sex.
“It’s not funny, Tyler. Rose really liked you, and she was nice. Don’t you see that you’re the problem in these relationships.”
I glared at my sister, the most recent bite of food turning to sand in my mouth. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am on your side. But I feel like you’re self-sabotaging.”
“Why do I even have to be in a relationship?” I asked, giving up on the rest of my sandwich and tossing the remains back into the brown paper bag she’d packed everything in. The turn our conversation had taken made me lose my appetite.
“Because, you need to have a person, Tyler.”
“You’re my person,” I said. And I realized how pathetic those words were the moment they left my lips.
Hannah gave me a sad smile. It was the same sad smile I’d seen on her face every time I reminded her that she was the only family I had left in the world since our parents’ deaths ten years ago. “I’ll always be here for you. You know that. But you need someone who is more than me. You need real intimacy in your life.”
“And on that note,” I said, looking at my watch, “I have to get back to work.” I did have to return to work before my asshole boss had a conniption fit, but I mostly needed to leave that conversation.
Hannah sighed again, this time a sigh of defeat, and started cleaning up. I helped, then dropped the bag of trash into a nearby garbage can, sneaking one last peek at the polka dot bikini before returning to my sister. I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
