Page 30 of Right Place, Right Time (Second Chances)
I roll my eyes. I’m so sick of this right side/wrong side of the tracks crap. I’ve volunteered in places as bad as or worse than what he’s trying to protect me from. “Whatever. What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I came to apologize.”
“Oh, yeah?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. Maybe I won’t have to lay it into him after all. Or maybe I still will; I haven’t decided. I let out a sigh, deflating from my tense posture and open my apartment door again. “Come in.” He follows me inside and I offer him a drink, which he declines. He takes a seat on the sofa, and I sit in the armchair diagonal to it, not ready to be next to him onthatcouch yet. I look at him expectantly, and he finally takes the hint and starts talking.
“I’m sorry for not taking your calls. I talked to Sean today, and he sort of put things into perspective for me. I wanna be a better guy…a better man…”
“You’re already a good guy, Jay,” I tell him, leaning forward in my seat.
“I know you think that—”
“I don’t think it, I know it,” I tell him, my tone not leaving room for negotiation.
“I know, Kate. I know.” His shoulders rise and fall with the weight of his sigh. “But I’ve spent the last several years being told I was a good-for-nothing, piece of shit—by my parents and myself. I need to convince myself that’s not true. I…” It pains me to hear how poorly he thinks of himself, and I hate to see him struggling so much with his words. “I need to believe in myself, Kate. The way that you believe in me. So I can be a better man. For you. I want to be a better man for you.”
My heart melts at his words. He wants to be a better man for me? He wants to believe in himself? Gosh, if he could only see what I see. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? He can’t and he needs to.
I can’t wait to show him.
I get up from the chair and walk over to where he’s sitting, certain he can see the moisture in my eyes but not giving a damn. I kneel down in front of him and wrap my arms around his body, hugging him tight. I rest my head on his shoulder and squeeze. He raises his arms slowly, then wraps them around me and lets out a relieved sigh.
“I know you already knowIthink you’re pretty amazing, but I’ll do whatever I can to helpyoubelieve that, too.”
He squeezes me tighter and whispers “thank you” into my hair, and I think that maybe, just maybe, everything will work out.
