Page 28 of Right Place, Right Time (Second Chances)
“Kate’s Kate. She’s amazing and perfect…”
“And everything you shouldn’t have…blah blah blah,” Sean says, cutting off my usual diatribe.
“Right.” I kick at a small rock in the parking lot and cringe as it heads towards the open garage bay. I relax when it stops short of the bike I’d just finished working on.
“Look, man, why the hell are you even out there?”
“You know why.” He’s the only one who knows the whole story of me and Kate.
“But if you’re going to keep sabotaging yourself, then what’s the point? I get that you think she’s too good for you. Hell, she probably is.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“I’m not finished. You’re self-deprecation is really starting to get on my nerves, Spencer.”
I laugh. “I love it when you use big words on me.”
“I’m serious, Jay. You’re a good guy who’s been dealt a shit hand and you just keep playing it anyway. I get that your parents putting you down all the time fucked you up, okay? But you have a chance to start over…start fresh. It pisses me off that you’re not taking it. It pisses me off that you’re going to let a few bad years dictate the rest of your life. You’re better than that.”
Now that pisses me off. Those “few bad years”aregoing to dictate the rest of my life. “Listen here,” I start, but he cuts me off again.
“No,youlisten here…you have a choice and you’re making a shitty one. You’re conforming to what you think society thinks of you instead of manning up and being who you really want to be. You think that girl sees you the way you see yourself? The way your parents saw you? Hell, no. She wouldn’t have kept writing to you all that time if she had. But if you keep treating yourself like that, other people are gonna start doing it, too. Get the fuck over your shit, man.”
I want to reach through the phone and choke my friend…but I know the asshole is right.
“So you up for a road trip to Sturgis this year?” Sean asks after a few moments of silence.
“That’s a long ass road trip,” I tell him, appreciating how quickly we can flip from wanting to punch one other to making plans.
“Says the guy who rode his bike across the country,” he responds dryly.
I laugh. “Exactly, so I know.”
“Come on, dude. It’ll be a kick ass time. If you’re still in California, we can meet in Kansas or some shit.”
“Okay, deal. When else am I gonna get to have a road trip with my best friend now that he’s all domesticated?” I joke, certain that Sean’s wife, Julia, is not going to be thrilled about him riding to South Dakota.
“Stop, you’re making me emotional,” Sean laughs.
I see Leroy step out of his office in the back. “Hey, man, I’m at work so I’d better go. I’ll call you this weekend, and we can talk about Sturgis.”
“Sounds good. I’ll have some info ready. Later, buddy.”
I hang up the phone and give a nod to Leroy, then step back to the custom chopper I’d been polishing before Sean’s call came through. As much as I don’t want to admit it…Sean’s right.
If I don’t believe in myself, who the hell will?
