Page 10 of Right Place, Right Time (Second Chances)
Chapter Four
Jay
“You read them?” she asks, her eyebrows raise in surprise first, then lower as she blushes, probably remembering what some of the letters said.
“Yes.”
“You lied to me?” she frowns, obviously remembering that day she came to see me. I was terrible to her that day and have felt guilty about it ever since.
I shook my head. “No, I hadn’t read them then. Only the first few I replied to. I read the rest before I left to come here.”
Her mouth forms that “O” of surprise again and I really,reallywish she’d quit doing that. Every time she draws attention to her lips I just want to kiss her, and that is not something I need to be thinking about. Not now. Probably not ever.
She looks down at the table and rolls an acorn between her delicate fingers. “I’m a different person now than I was when I wrote those letters,” she says solemnly.
“I’m sorry I didn’t read them sooner.”
She just shrugs her shoulders. “Not much you could have done for me then.”
“You needed a friend, and I bailed on you.”
She shrugs again. “It was years ago. Things change. If that’s the only reason you’re here, then you’re free to go.” Her tone is no-nonsense, and her glare is glacial as she gets up and walks away.
I watch her walk over to the swings, torn over what I should do. When I first met Kate, she was a burst of sunshine in my otherwise cloudy existence. I’d been living life one day at a time, just trying to get by…trying to survive. Trying to get over my past. Then one day—out of the blue—there she is. All I could think is that I must have done something right in my life for that beautiful creature to have been placed in my path that day.
After everything went south for me, I never thought I’d see or hear from her again…how could I? Then the letters started. I thought seeing her name, Katherine Dumont, on the return address had been a hallucination. I’d wondered how she’d found me—not realizing at the time that she was quite resourceful. I read that first letter, feeling the excitement of an elementary school kid getting letters from a pen pal. I wrote back to the first few, answering her questions and telling her everything about me.
Then shit got tough for me, and I’d stopped. The letters kept coming, but I set them aside. In the end, there were more than fifty letters—all unread.
After nearly two months of living back home with my brother, I’d finally broken down and started reading them again. I’d missed her, and I selfishly wanted her back in my life. I sorted them by postmark and started with where I’d left off. They were chipper, cheerful…just like I remembered her. By about the tenth letter though, her tone had changed. I’m not sure how you can read a tone in a letter, but you can. By letter twenty-five, gone was the optimistic girl I’d dubbed “Sunshine.” In her place was a sad and lonely girl. And it only got worse. That’s when I knew I had to see her. I had to see with my own two eyes that she was okay.
The decision to go to California was a spur of the moment one and not easy to arrange, but with the help of my brother, Mac, I’d made it here. Trying to find her at Stanford would have been like trying to find a needle in a haystack, so I did some Facebook recon and managed to find out where she worked. After spending three evenings parked in the lot across from her restaurant, I finally saw her. And she looked…good. She wasn’t the bubbly, happy teenager I remembered, but she looked healthy, and I caught a smile as she said goodnight to her co-workers. She looked older—in a good way—and more mature. She looked really good.
I guess in my head I’d conjured up this image of Kate needing me and, for once, I wanted to be the piece that made someone whole again. But it didn’t seem like Kate needed my help at all. Still doesn’t. From the few words we’ve exchanged tonight, it seems like she’s strong and confident…not the girl from the letters. She’d been right about that.
I watch as she kicks her legs and swings higher and higher, seeing a glimpse of that girl from long ago. I wish her long blonde hair was down so I could watch it blow in the breeze like it did that day on the highway.
Hell, if I really had a wish, I wish I could go back in time and meet Kate months before my life fell apart instead of just days. Long before I made the biggest mistake of my life, one that will follow me around forever. If I had known her sooner, maybe I would have been in a different place that night. Maybe I would have been with her instead of at that gas station.
I get up from the table and walk over to where she’s swinging. She slows down as I approach. “I know you probably don’t believe me, but I am sorry. I’m sorry I stopped reading the letters, and I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you when you came to see me. You didn’t deserve that.”
“You’re right, I didn’t.” I let out a sigh. She’s not going to make this easy, not that I’d expect her to. “Why tonight?” she asks.
“Hm?”
“Why tonight? You’ve been here for what? Six months? Why’d you wait until now?”
I take a seat in the swing next to hers and kick at the woodchips below. “I don’t have a good answer for that. I got here in September. I…uh…saw you back then.”
She turns her head quickly to me. “You’ve been…what? Following me?”
“Not really.”Kind of. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. When I read the letters I freaked out. I needed to see you.”
“How did you find me? And how long have you been stalking me?”
Why didn’t I think this through? Now I’m coming off as a complete creeper. “I found you through Facebook, and I swear I’m not stalking you. I saw you for the first time back in September, and I’ve just sort of checked up on you a couple times since. To make sure you were still okay. God, I know this sounds creepy as fuck,” I say, running my hands down my face. “I swear I had your best interests at heart.” I raise my hands in a sign of surrender, hoping she won’t scream or call the cops on me.
“I should probably run for the hills, knowing your history.”Ouch.“At the very least call the cops.” I sigh and look back down at the mulch, nodding my head. She absolutely should do those things. “But I believe you.” I look back up at her, and she has a small smile on her face.
