Page 5 of Meaner Than Evil

I look back out the side window and think about Eric's news, about trying to find a suitable man to marry, and my failed marriage to Jack. "Bill, are you married? Have kids?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm married, and I have two boys in college. One wants to be a doctor; the other a lawyer."

"Wow! Ambitious."

He laughs, "Yes, and expensive."

"I was married before. Did you know that?"

His face shows his shock. "No, I didn't."

"Yeah, I married when I was in college. Lasted all of four months."

"Too young?"

I tilt my head and look back out the window. "Hmm. More like too stupid."

He wisely doesn't respond. Instead, he says, "There's a bottle of scotch in the center console. Why don't you have a drink, relax, and unwind? We are going to be stuck in traffic awhile, and you just won a big case. You should celebrate. Even if it's alone."

I smile at him. "You know what, Bill? That's an excellent idea."

I lift the lid in the center console to find a small bottle of scotch and a single lowball glass. I pour myself a steep drink and sip the dark brown whisky. "Mmm. This is good. Thank you."

He answers, "You're welcome."

I take another sip and unlock my phone, then open my photo album labeled, My Biggest Regret. As I scroll through old photos of Jack and me from that magical summer together, I wonder what he's doing right now. If he remarried? If he has kids? If he is happy?

I hope he is. I hope he found a woman who loves him as much as I still do, but one who is stronger and braver. One who could handle letting him leave her over and over again to go into battle, not knowing if he would return or not. I just couldn't do it.

After losing the baby, the thought that I would have to bear the pain of loss every time the man I loved deployed was incomprehensible. I knew I could only survive letting him walk away once.

I lift the phone to my lips and kiss the smiling face of my badass motherfucker. Losing him is my biggest regret and loving him was the most incredible privilege of my life.

I came back to New York City and became the woman he expected me to be. I learned to be tough and to be strong. All because Jack Black loved me and said I had the goods. A man like Jack wouldn't love a weakling. He wouldn't love a coward. His love made me who I am—the fiercest New York City prosecutor in recent history, who is feared by the Diablo gang. To be anything less would be to dishonor him, and I would never do that.

I lift my glass and silently toast him.

It's been ten years since I left him, and I still love him, still miss him, and still think of him every damn day.

We reach the intersection, and Bill turns right. The traffic isn't as congested, so he speeds down the street. I'm a tad tipsy, but we seem to be driving faster than necessary.

"Whoa, Bill. That scotch is strong. Good, but strong."

He smiles as he looks in the side mirrors. "I'm glad you are relaxing." His eyes find mine in the rearview mirror, and then they look past me through the back window.

"Is everything okay?" I ask him.

"Everything's fine. The trailing car didn't make the turn, but there is nothing to be overly concerned with. They will catch up when they can."

I swipe to text my mom again. I shouldn't spring Eric's gayness on her. She's just disappointed I can't love anyone else. Jack Black is my one, and no one else will ever measure up.

Bill takes an unexpected turn into a parking garage, and panic fills my gut. "Damn! So, this is how it's going to go down? This isn't Evan taking precautions. This is you taking a bribe."

He nods. "Nothing personal, Logan, but everyone has a price, and Morales paid mine."

I know I only have a few seconds before we travel too deep inside the concrete walls of the parking garage, and the cell signal dies. I put my phone on silent mode, then text my mom.

FIND JACK!!!

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