Page 86 of Lead Me Knot

I chuckle, rolling to my side. The bed beside me is empty without her. My soul relates. I reach over, resting my hand where she lay just yesterday. And when I close my eyes, I can still catch the faintest scent of her sweetness in the air. Strawberries.

“We can’t,” I mumble, a yawn catching me by surprise.

“Get some rest and have fun with Beck tomorrow.”

I find myself holding the phone tighter to my ear not wanting to miss a word she says. “I will. Love you, baby.”

“Love you, too. Good night.”

I lie awake a few minutes more, thinking about what my head is telling me to do and what my heart is guiding me toward. They’re not as far apart as they used to be.

“Baylor?”I look up from my phone to see a woman standing a few feet away from the park bench where I’m seated. “It’s Katie.” Her hand goes to her chest as her smile broadens. I’m drawing a blank. “Katie Wilson,” she says as if we know each other.

“Hi,” I play along. “How are you?” I've never seen her in my life, but apparently, she’s seen me.

Her eyes roll, and her smile morphs into knowing. “You don’t remember me. It’s okay. I knew what I was getting into that night with you.”

“Night?”

“Yeah,” she says, sitting on the other side of the bench from me. Perched on the edge, her eyes are set on the kids on the playground. When she glances at me, her smile softens. She’s pretty but nothing about her triggers a memory. “We met at a work party probably like . . .” She squints as she works through the riddle. “Seven years or so ago. Your company hosted a client event. My boss at the time brought me as his assistant. We had sex in your office.”

“Ah.” That didn’t happen any other time but once. Her hair is blond when it used to be brown, just below her ears when it was long back then. “You changed your hair.”

“I did.” Her shoulders curve forward as she tracks a little girl coming down the slide. “The one in the pink coat is mine.”

I glance at Beck as if he’s my own, checking to make sure he’s good, safe, and having fun. That feeling of wanting kids has started to grow without me even feeding it. “My nephew is playing tag with his friend by the jungle gym.”

“That’s nice. Is he eight or nine?”

“Nine. Yours?”

“She’s six.” There’s a pause between us, but then she laughs. “Don’t worry, she’s not yours.”

I wasn’t worried because I never had sex without a condom other than with Lauralee this weekend.Maybe a little worried.I’ve started embracing the idea of a family with my wife, not a surprise I didn’t plan on. I wouldn’t walk away from any child who’s part of me, but I’m glad she clarified.

She adds, “Her father and I are still together. I met him six months after the office incident.” Standing, she keeps her body angled toward her daughter, and then back at me. “Are you doing well? I see you got married?”

“A lot has changed over the years. My priorities shifted in a good way. I’m happy. How about you?”

Her smile returns. “I like that for you. I’m good. Really good.”

“I’m happy for you, Katie.”

She signals to her daughter. “I need to go. Good seeing you again.”

“You, too. Take care.”

Resting my arms on my knees, I send my gaze to where Beck and his friend are still playing, having a blast by the look and sounds of it. When I sit back, I look at the photo on my phone. The universe can’t be sending a clearer message to me. It’s time I listen to it.

CHAPTER 30

Baylor

“Doyou need me to call 911, Uncle Baylor?”

Bent over with one hand on my knee, I gasp for air, gripping the chain-link fence to hold myself up with the other. “Funny, kid.”

Dribbling the ball around me in circles doesn’t help, but it does make me feel old as fuck. I’m only aging from here and barely surviving now. What am I going to be like when I finally have kids of my own? I pull myself upright, still trying to catch my breath, when I eye Beckett, ready to impart some wisdom and buy myself some recovery time. “This is the court your dad and I used to play on every Thursday after work. We’d join a pickup game.”

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