I lift my head and turn back to the bedroom. Walking through the quiet apartment leaves too much room tosecond-guess myself. It was a fun weekend fling.Nothing more.
“Exactly.” I laugh, though it’s forced. Throwing my hands up in the air, I try to laugh harder with real intention. “You’re being absurd, Lauralee. It’s not like Baylor Greene’s your soulmate or anything.” Even saying it out loud sounds ridiculous to my ears. But then my feet stop just as I reach the bed, and I look back toward the front door again. “I’d know if he were. Right?”
Ignoring how my entire body wants to run to see if he’s still here by chance, I lie to myself, and say, “I’d feel it. Right?”
Would it be so bad if I just checked?
I roll my eyes as I head back to the door. Unlocking it, I rationalize once again that I was never supposed to fall for Baylor Greene. So I need to stop acting like I have.
Tugging the door wide open, I stare at the empty lot. Why do I do this to myself? Now all that’s left is a stupid buildup of hope dropping to the pit of my stomach. This is good. Pain into power. Now I have the answer I needed.
There’s no such thing as soulmates.
CHAPTER 10
Baylor
It’s notthe first time I’ve fucked up.
I can confidently say it’s not the tenth or the hundredth either. A thousand times might be pushing it, though. I’m not that bad.
Yet I’ve successfully fucked up with Lauralee.
Slamming my hands down on the steering wheel, I stare out at the sun rising in the distance over the open road that leads to the ranch. It’s a sight to behold and one I miss more often than not these days when I’m in Manhattan. But it can’t take the sting away.
Should I turn around and apologize?
Or let it lie like I usually do?
I honestly thought Lauralee and I were on the same page, so I’m not sure why she took offense to me stating the obvious. Maybe it’s that simple. It didn’t need to be said. So when I did, it messed up what we’d just shared.
Ultimately, isn’t this best?
No misunderstandings.
No confusion as to where things stand.
No feelings getting hurt in the aftermath of whatever this is. Well, other than what’s already been said.
Crossing the cattleguard reminds me of all the times I used to try to sneak back home in high school. I knew how slow I needed to go to keep from alerting the entire ranch and, more importantly, my parents back then. Now, here I am, a grown man going four miles an hour over the metal grate hoping to keep everyone here less wise to my comings and goings.
I park a little way back from the main house, figuring I might be able to sneak into the house and get a few hours of sleep in my old room at the top of the stairs versus heading down to my sister’s place and trying to get past the kids unnoticed.
When I carefully close the rental car’s door, I hear, “Creeping around your old haunts?” I spy my best friend coming from the barn with a bucket in his hand. “Or sleeping around with your old hookups?”
“Now, Tagger. Don’t be jealous,” I say, chuckling as I walk toward him. Tossing my keys in the air, I catch them and stop with a few feet remaining between us. “Not all of us are settled down.” I pop the imaginary collar of my T-shirt. “Some of us still have some wild oats to sow.”
He chuckles. “Some of us are happier settled. You might want to consider trying the alternative.”
“I think I’m good for the time being.” Checking the time on my watch, I ask, “It’s Sunday. Why are you up and about so early?”
“It’s the only way I can make sure Pris gets her rest. Working the ranch is in her blood. She likes to be busy, so ifI can beat her to some of the chores, she’s more likely to sleep in.”
Although their relationship came with some turmoil, mainly from me, I couldn’t have found a better match for my sister. He treats her how she deserves. As for her, she’s his perfect match—a partner and spouse. They make an envious team.
That is . . .if I were looking to be in a relationship and all that. I’m not, so it doesn’t matter. It’s just good they found each other, is all.
Glancing at the house, I say, “I’m going to head in and get some sleep.”