Page 17 of Angel's Flight
Christine forced herself to take a bite of food so she wouldn’t have to answer.She’d been incredibly careful with what she had told Pauline about Erik, not even revealing his name.Of course, that had made her more curious.“He was a great advocate for me when I was performing,” Christine said carefully.
“I’d love to have a man like that,” Pauline sighed.“Someone who would commit unspeakable acts if it meant making me happy.”
“I don’t know about unspeakable,” Christine sputtered around her mouthful.
“Well, you are married, and I have heard things,” Pauline chuckled.“You have to get that sort of thing in before all the babies come along.”
Christine swallowed before she choked this time, but it didn’t stop the sadness that welled up in her so powerfully that she couldn’t look Pauline in the face.
“Oh no, what did I say?”Pauline asked, reaching over to grip Christine’s arm.
“It’s nothing.It’s just that...”Christine sniffled and tried to compose herself.“We’ve been married for several months, and nothing has happened in that respect.I thought this month it might, but yesterday...I’m sorry, this isn’t polite conversation.”
Christine didn’t want to think about finding blood on her petticoats or the cramps in her gut.She didn’t want to think about Erik’s relief.
“I’m so sorry,” Pauline said, and it sounded like she meant it.Christine let out a little huff of a sob because it was what she needed to hear.
“It’s so stupid, really,” she began.“I know it’s not the time.We’re not settled, and I’m still young, but I don’t have a career to nurture anymore, so there’s part of me that thinks I could have more meaning if I had a child.I know that’s not a good reason to want a baby, and my husband certainly doesn’t want the complication, so I should be relieved, but—”
“It’s still a disappointment.I understand.”Pauline’s eyes were soft when Christine met them, warm and comforting enough that Christine let out a sigh of relief to simply be seen in her secret grief.“But you’re also right – you’re young and there’s a whole world out there to explore and see before you’re tied down.I think it’s wonderful that you get to do whatever you like and go wherever you want.You’re so free.”
“Yes, that is true,” Christine said, though her voice quavered.She wanted to tell Pauline that she had grown up with this type of freedom and so had Erik.They had both wandered so long without a place to call home until they found the Opera.Then they had given it up, to have each other, and returned to the freedom of open roads and vast skies.
Christine could not say aloud how tired she was becoming of that kind of freedom or how a life without a home sometimes felt like a prison too.Maybe that was changing, she told herself, as she looked at her new friend.Maybe this was where they would finally land.
3.Refuge
Florence
It was a habit forErik to walk in the shadows and alleyways.Even though his mask concealed him, he still didn’t like crowds and strangers and preferred longer but safer routes through Florence that avoided the main roads.Jack had remarked that morning on how Erik had appeared in the university courtyard like a ghost, and the young man hadn’t understood why that made Erik laugh.
Erik didn’t know what to call his meetings with the young musician.They were not lessons; Jack had already studied the principles of theory and had an excellent grip on orchestration and harmony.It wasn’t collaboration (though, to be fair, Erik had never had a collaborator).He and Jack exchanged melodies and pored over things they had written, mainly arias for operas that did not yet exist, and discussed how they could be improved.Jack had a great ear, if not a great creative spark of his own, but in a few sessions, he had helped take Erik’s melodies and harmonies to a higher level, something that shocked Erik.He had, of course, thought there was no room for improvement, but he had been humbled.
Maybe it was collaboration?He would have to ask Christine.She knew the intricacies of human friendship and interactions.It was thanks to her encouragement that he had continued these sessions at all.It made him feel exposed to have a real acquaintance again, after he had lost so many and been betrayed by others.Maybe that was why he’d been more careful in recent days when journeying about the city.That, or the memories of not being hidden in Lungern.
It was thanks to this precaution that Erik could do something else he had been denied the pleasure of for many months – watch his beloved from the shadows.He had come to their street via a hidden alley just in time to see Christine approaching and would have revealed himself to join her had he not seen the other woman beside her.
