Page 66 of Angel's Flight
“It was amusing.They sang pub songs,” Christine said, moving towards her husband.“You might have liked it.Everyone was building their own harmonies to sing about the glory of brown ale.”
“Before or after they ate that mush made of peas?”
“At least they ate.”
“Fair enough,” Erik chuckled, but it faded quickly as he looked at Christine.“Are you alright?”
“I missed you is all,” Christine replied, her mood warming just to be close to him again.
“I’m sorry.I shouldn’t have been so distracted.”Erik was instantly contrite, as she knew he would be.Almost too much so.
“I don’t ever want to make you do things that don’t agree with you,” Christine countered.“I can understand what you need and still miss you.”
“I should be better though,” Erik sighed and looked to his book, now with guilt.“I was distracted.”
“I know you were.I’m not angry.”Christine said the words, but knew he didn’t really hear them.It had been like this, off and on in their marriage.She would tell him one thing, but the dark voices inside his head were often louder than her words.She hated those voices.She wished she could cast them out forever and make Erik believe her.They were like weeds in a garden that constantly had to be removed, so tonight, she would be a gardener.
“You should be.You deserve—”
“If you dare say again that I deserve a better husband or some other such nonsense, there will be consequences,” Christine admonished, surprised at the steel in her voice.
“I’m sorry,” Erik whispered, but there wasn’t contrition in his voice.There was something like excitement.A breathlessness she knew, and it made her smile.
“Stand up,” Christine ordered, a thrill rising inside her as well.“Take off that mask and look at me.”
Erik obeyed, silently and quickly, but Christine could see the tension in his shoulders and the questions in his eyes.
“Do you believe me when I say I love you?”Christine demanded, firm and calm.“Answer out loud.”
“Sometimes,” Erik replied.While Christine was annoyed at the answer, she was at least comforted by his honesty.
“Do you believe you deserve that love?”
Erik opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out.
“That’s answer enough,” Christine sighed.
“Christine, I—”
She stopped him with a raised hand.“No excuses.I want you to...”Christine swallowed.The will to command was easy to find, but there was still a part of her that cringed at the brazenness of it.It wasn’t proper for a woman to order a man around, but it felt so good, and the anticipation in Erik’s golden eyes made her brave and breathless.“Go to the bed, turn your back to me, and undress.”
Her heart pounded as she watched Erik comply.She loved how he moved – his grace and elegance.She loved the sight of his skin – the way his taut muscles were visible on his back as he took off his shirt.She even loved it when he exposed the rest of himself, including the pleasing roundness of his ass and long legs.
She took her time just to look at him as she unbuttoned her jacket and then slipped out of her skirt and petticoats.She wanted to see what it did to him to listen to her movements.What was he thinking?What was he hoping for?Were those dark voices telling him he was flawed and loathsome, or was there anticipation rising in him?
She tended to the curtains and locked the door, methodical in her steps through the room.She doffed her stockings and shoes, remaining in her corset and pantalets.She wanted to be wearing something for this, to make the imbalance between them even more askew.There was one more thing, though, that would tip it.That would take this to somewhere new.Somewhere they had never been.
“Would you like me to remind you who you are?”Christine asked as she opened her shawl on the chair.“You can say no.We can just make love or go to bed.If you want this, I need you to choose it.”
“I want it,” Erik said without a moment of hesitation.“I...I need it.”
“Tell me to stop and it ends.No judgement or punishment,” Christine went on, repeating what Letitia had informed her was the most crucial element of these kinds of encounters, no matter who they involved.She had been very firm that Christine understood that above all before giving her the object she now took from the folds of her shawl.“Do you understand?”
“I do.”
He sounded calm, but tense.Christine was anxious too.This could be a disaster.This could shock and horrify him or send him spiraling into some terrible memory.Christine stepped closer to him and caressed his bare back, tracing the long lines of his scars with gentle fingertips.Erik sighed at the touch, relaxing.
“Do you think these are proof?That you could not deserve me?”Christine asked, barely more than a whisper.“Don’t lie or tell me what you think you should say or what I want you to say.Tell the truth.”
